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The Bachelor Contestant Standings: Week 3

If Liz wanted her 15 minutes of fame, she got it. Almost every girl had a conversation with Nick at the rose ceremony after she left, and it made quite the impression on the girls. So did fucking Corinne when she slept through a rose ceremony. Hoping that this didn’t shake their confidence too much, let’s see how they did.

Still In The Game

Alexis, 23, aspiring dolphin trainer, Secaucus, NJ

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Performance This Week: Alexis shocked the world once again with her athleticism. She stole the banner of Nick’s giant face and laid down on it with him. She’s quite the romantic.

Odds: 1/85

Astrid, 26, plastic surgery office manager, Tampa, FL

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Performance This Week: Astrid went on the B team date for the second week in a row, and her boobs helped her bounce her way to extra time with Nick and made out in a hot tub with him fully clothed.

Odds: 1/100

Brittany, 26, travel nurse, Santa Monica, CA

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Performance This Week: Brittany went on the B team date and that’s all we know.

Odds: 1/800

Christen, 25, wedding videographer, Tulsa, OK

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Performance This Week: Christen laid low this week, which is probably a nice change of pace from last week.

Odds: 1/700

Corrine, 24, business owner, Miami, FL

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Performance This Week: Corinne dresses like a 1950s flasher to try to “explore Nick sexually.” Whipped cream is sitting conveniently within arm’s length of Nick, and she makes him lick it off of her boobs. She sleeps through first rose ceremony, slept again during group date, gets a bounce castle and straddles Nick in front of all of the girls, and then falls asleep again while all the girls ask Nick WTF he is thinking.

Odds: 1/50

Danielle L., 27, small business owner, Los Angeles, CA

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Performance This Week: Danielle L. is fucking flawless. She won what sounded like the best prize ever, she middle-school-danced on stage with the Backstreet Boys singing a capella, and it was crazy uncomfortable. She also got the group date rose.

Odds: 1/20

Danielle M., 31, neonatal nurse, Nashville, TN

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Performance This Week: No date this week, but after last week’s one-on-one, she is still a solid frontrunner.

Odds: 1/9

Jaimi, 28, chef, New Orleans, LA

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Performance This Week: Her second week on the B team gave her a chance to make sure Nick didn’t think of her as the “weird lesbian.”

Odds: 1/15,000

Jasmine G., 29, pro basketball dancer, San Francisco, CA

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Performance This Week: Jasmine steals Nick away from a half-naked Corinne, which sends her into a beautiful spiral, and then made Corinne look like an FOOL with her dancing skills. Then at the pool party, she expressed concerns directly to Nick about how she’s a total skank. Not her words, just paraphrasing.

Odds: 1/200

Josephine, 24, unemployed nurse, Santa Cruz, CA

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Performance This Week: No date for Josephine, probably because of last date’s slap. Singing to him this week did not help in any capacity.

Odds: 1/1,000,000

Kristina, 24, dental hygienist, Lexington, KY

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Performance This Week: Kristina is still awkward and still Russian.

Odds: 1/19,000

Rachel, 31, attorney, Dallas, TX

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Performance This Week: Rachel was about to win extra time with Nick, but knocked over the ring, ultimately giving the prize to Astrid. That’s some tough shit.

Odds: 1/75

Raven, 25, fashion boutique owner, Hoxie, AR

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Performance This Week: Raven didn’t get a date this week, but just like Danielle M., there is clearly a connection between her and Nick. At the pool party, Raven tells Nick about Corinne’s nanny and that she is a “huge mistake.” Good call.

Odds: 1/15

Sarah, 26, grade school teacher, Newport Beach, CA

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Performance This Week: Sarah got demoted to the B team and is slowly fading.

Odds: 1/600

Taylor, 23, mental health counselor, Seattle, WA

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Performance This Week: Taylor danced pretty well, and at the pool party, she eluded that the girls are questioning what Nick is here for. Add her to the list of Corinne haters.

Odds: 1/100

Vanessa, 29, special education teacher, Montreal, Quebec, Canada

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Performance This Week: Vanessa got this week’s one-on-one date on a zero G plane, of course. Nothing says romance like barreling through the sky. Space sex would probably be wild though. That is until Vanessa vomits while Nick is staring at her. He must really like her because he still kissed her even though she didn’t brush her teeth. At “dinner,” Vanessa talks about her dead grandpa, which is quite the light dinner conversation. She asks the question that we are all thinking: Why is he doing this again? And he gets Nick to CRY. Of course she gets the rose, and things are looking way up for her. She brought Corinne up at the pool party as well, and asked another tough question: Why would you ever try to marry Corinne?

Odds: 1/4

Whitney, 25, Pilates instructor, Chanhassen, MN

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Performance This Week: Whitney did pretty average at the dance. Although she comforted a crying Corinne at the practice, but as soon as she mounted him in the bouncy castle, she was totally over her.

Odds: 1/90,000


Eliminated This Week

Dominique, 25, restaurant server, Los Angeles, CA

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Performance This Week: Dominique finally got to go on a date, and after little to no airtime the last two weeks, still struggled really hard to get time with Nick. When she got one-on-one time with him, she came at him saying that he wasn’t giving her a fair chance, which is not the strategy most girls would take, and he immediately sends her home.

Reason For Elimination: He just didn’t like her.

Elizabeth, 24, marketing manager, Dallas, TX

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Performance This Week: Elizabeth was a bridesmaid in the photo shoot, but she still looked cute, but faded into the background.

Reason For Elimination: Not his type.

Hailey, 23, photographer, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

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Performance This Week: Hailey was dressed as a badass biker and looked hot as fuck during the photo shoot without making out with him. Then she spent the whole night shooting daggers at Corinne. We need more women like her in the world.

Reason For Elimination: Fell through the cracks.

Lacey, 25, digital marketing manager, Manhattan, NY

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Performance This Week: Lacey left in the first rose ceremony.

Reason For Elimination: Too “nice.”

Fill up your wine glasses, fill out your brackets, and see you all next week.

Images via ABC, florianheger

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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