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The Bachelor Weekly Standings: Week 7

The final 6 are swept away to some island that no one has ever heard of, but the girls still lose their minds over it. After a stressful week last week, it is sure to continue this week. Let’s see how our ladies did.


Still In The Game

Corrine, 24, business owner, Miami, FL

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Performance This Week: Corinne brings up that she has never had a one-on-one, but she didn’t get sent home. This girl must be some sort of wizard. After not getting the group date rose, she sneaks over to Nick’s room with her platinum vagine with plans to “blow him away” *wink wink*, which unfortunately for her, he pumps the brakes. Things are not looking good for her right now.

Odds: 1/10

Rachel, 31, attorney, Dallas, TX

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Performance This Week: Rachel has never brought home a white guy which even further solidifies that she is the smartest girl on the show. They talked about her dad, hung out with a bartender for a little bit, made out, and then she went home. Honestly, a dream date. But since she has just been announced as the next Bachelorette, you can pretty much assume she is on her way out.

Odds: 1/1,000,000

Raven, 25, fashion boutique owner, Hoxie, AR

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Performance This Week: Besides threatening to punch a shark in the face, Raven wasn’t really present on the group date. Once it was revealed that she called her dad “daddy,” Nick was immediately turned off. And even after she explained how he had cancer, he was still like “but she calls him Daddy.” But for no reason at all, Raven gets the only rose handed out on group dates and the once in a lifetime chance to dance on an unknown beach with random people and listen to some irrelevant singer.

Odds: 1/3

Vanessa, 29, special education teacher, Montreal, Quebec, Canada

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Performance This Week: Vanessa got a one-on-one where the producers forced them underwater to make out with snorkel masks on. Have you every kissed anyone with glasses on? I’m assuming it’s like that, except you are both wearing them and you are also drowning. The dinner date barely starts and Vanessa starts crying about feelings or whatever. Which is met with silence and kisses. And then some ambiguous speech about how he doesn’t want to fuck it up like Ben did. And then more silence. She gets upset like she has never seen the show. This whole season, she acts like she should have special privileges or something. But Nick is giving them to her.

Odds: 1/5


Eliminated This Week

Danielle M., 31, neonatal nurse, Nashville, TN

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Performance This Week: Nick and Danielle let a few kids dunk on them before they grind in the middle of the court. At dinner, Nick said her face was pretty great and then brought up her dead fiancé. Perfect! Must have worked on her, because she also gave him a speech about how she really likes him. And then he sends her home.

Reason For Elimination: Not slutty enough.

Kristina, 24, dental hygienist, Lexington, KY

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Performance This Week: Kristina rocked the shit out of this group date. She got an awkward sunscreen rubdown in front of everyone, and then pulled a Corinne and cried and got out of the water because she is afraid of sharks. Nick followed her, of course, leaving the other two girls in the sharky sea. Atta girl. She has been quite the sleeper pick this season. However, he pulled the whole “I love you but I’m not in love with you” bullshit.

Reason For Elimination: Didn’t have a hometown for them to go to.

Fill up your wine glasses, fill out your brackets, and see you all next week.

Images via ABC, florianheger

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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