The Be-All End-All Thanksgiving Day Drinking Game


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Thanksgiving is the time to be with your family, cherish your time together, and enjoy all that the season has to offer. And that’s great. But do you know what else? It’s also the time when most of us get really drunk with our loved ones and it’s totally acceptable. So, instead of just sipping on some wine while watching the drama unfold, use it to your advantage! Here’s a drinking game that will make the whole thing better. Or worse, depending on how plastered you get.

  • Someone asks you how school is going.
    Take a sip.
  • A relative begins a sentence with “The last time I saw you… ”
    Finish your drink while nodding politely so you don’t say something bitchy. 
  • Mom gave you a chore to do?
    Sneak into the bathroom and take a swig from your emergency flask.
  • “Are you seeing anyone?”
    Take a shot and pretend you’re crying because of how gross the well vodka you’re drinking is. 
  • You have a just turned twenty-one (or twenty-one ish) relative.
    Secretly shotgun a beer together.  
  • Some asks what your future plans are.
    Respond with, “Get another drink” and then do just that. 
  • You sneak off to send a sexy Snap to your FWB.
    Have a glass of water. At this point, you probably need it. 
  • Someone says, “I bet you’re fighting all of the boys off.”
    Shots. Take as many shots as necessary. 
  • And then someone else brings up your ex.
    Finish your drink, grab another, then drunk text said ex, “just to say hello.”
  • You catch the high school kids sneaking alcohol.
    Act like a hard ass, confiscate it, and then drink it yourself. 
  • Your mom talks about what she’s thankful for. For a very, very long time. But it’s just because she’s so blessed.
    Waterfall the entire time. Refill your drink as necessary.
  • And as soon as she starts crying?
    Chug that shit. 
  • A relative/family friend/neighbor that everyone sort of hates stops by uninvited.
    Grab a bottle of table wine, hide in a closet, and drink until you hear the person leave.
  • Someone makes a sex joke. Someone wayyyy older than you.
    Die. JK. Take a shot of tequila. But, like, same thing.
  • A family member says something offensive.
    Take as many sips as necessary to forget that it happened. 
  • A relative gets sloppily, loudly, embarrassingly drunk.
    Take their drink and chug it. It’s for the best.
  • Someone unexpectedly cries.
    Take as many sips as tears they spill. 
  • You cry.
    Time to pop the champagne? 


(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to:

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