I’m a relationship girl. Throughout my dating history, I went from boyfriend to boyfriend because I just love being ~taken~. I liked having someone to go to boring events with and someone to cuddle up to every night before going to sleep. The only problem? Most guys at the age of 22 (and 21, and 19, and 17, and 16) weren’t really looking for a “forever” relationship. So, while I was busy browsing dream wedding dresses and thinking about whether or not I wanted to hyphenate my name, I didn’t realize that most of those guys weren’t going to be in it for the long haul.
Sadly, with being a relationship girl comes being really, really good at breakups.
I don’t mean to brag, but I have that shit perfected. Delete him on all social media. Change his name to “DO NOT CONTACT” in your phone (or block him altogether). Don’t stalk him and don’t try to get back at him. View your relationship for what it really was and remember all the shitty things he did to you (like that time he drunkenly yelled at you at formal). And after you’ve done all of those things, the final but extremely important step is to, of course, watch breakup rom coms.
I know that might seem crazy, but the only way to get over someone (in addition to DFMOs with hot strangers and refraining from all stalking habits) is to cry him the fuck out. Something about watching another relationship crumble on a big screen only to see that life actually is okay makes our world whole again. Normally I gravitate towards Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Friends with Benefits, and of course 500 Days of Summer. All solid, up and down flicks that give you everything you want, with twists that leave you wanting more. But now? I have the breakup movie that puts all of these to shame and will make you feel like you might not actually die alone.
Enter: Temps.
In a new movie by Grandex Productions (yeah, we have a movie), Temps, our leading lady Stephanie (Lindsey Shaw from PLL anyone?) is an ambitious go-getter in one of those casual, annoying-AF-but-the-sex-is-so-good-so-idk-what-to-do type relationships with her co-worker Jefferson (Grant Rosenmeyer from The Royal Tenenbaums). Jefferson is a temp worker whose only career goal is to afford an annual ski trip with his best friend and fellow temp, Curtis (Reid Ewing, Modern Family). So what happens? You guessed it. They fall for each other, and Jefferson is forced to re-evaluate his minimum wage, minimum commitment, total fuckboy lifestyle. Stephanie likes him. He likes her. But of course people have to be idiots, no one can be happy, and shit gets complicated. Sound like your life? Yeah. Because it is.
It’s romantic. It’s hot (like, really hot). It’s laugh-so-hard-you-might-pee-a-little like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but artsy and thought-provoking like 500 Days of Summer. It will make you feel good, feel sad, and feel hopeful. Which is exactly how you feel now that you’re throwing all of your ex’s old shirts out of your dorm window. A coincidence? I think not.
So before you drunk text him tonight, begging him to take you back, download Temps instead. 10/10 you’ll realize just how much better off you are without him. Besides, for $10 you can grab a bottle of wine, some cookie dough, and your best friend and it will still be cheaper than going out. Your dignity, and bank account, can thank me later..
To watch Temps on iTunes, click here.
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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