Well, ladies, we’re a little beyond the halfway point of summer. Soon, we’ll return to school, where we won’t have to worry about sobriety, overbearing mothers, or running into high school “friends.” The return to paradise is only a month and weeks away, so just try to survive. Probably the only people more excited than you for college are the slew of incoming freshmen who have no idea what they’re in for.
Some of you babies will head to campus early to meet some of the most amazing women in existence: sorority women. By the end of August, you’ll sport letters on your chest, have anywhere from 12 to 50 brand new pledge sisters, and your entire college career will be ahead of you. My big told me when I first joined, “everything the light touches is our kingdom,” and I think that just about sums up Greek life in a nutshell.
Some of you chose to attend a school that has deferred recruitment, which basically means you can’t sit with us until the spring semester. There’s nothing wrong with this–it’s actually more common than you think. By then, you’ll have a handle on campus, you’ll know the lay of the land when it comes to Greek life, and you’ll also get to avoid a semester of standards, which you won’t get again until the second semester of your senior year.
So what do you do as a young, impressionable girl who wants to join a sorority but has to wait half a year to do so? While recruitment websites have every (boring) trick in the book, they don’t say anything about what you’re supposed to do with the semester before rush. I know RecruitmentChairTSM is the queen of recruitment here on TSM, but I have a little bit of experience in the area, too. (You probably know this because you used my secret recruitment tricks to get the best new member class EVER!) Now it’s your turn, PNMs, to learn how to make sororities fall in love with you before recruitment even starts!
Research The Chapters
So you probably know by now that every sorority and every chapter is different. They all have different symbols, mascots, colors, and so on. One of the pros of spring recruitment is that you’ll also find out the quirks and reputation of each of the chapters, too. Finding out the basics is a pretty easy task that anyone can do, so to really show off how dedicated to the sorority you are BEFORE even accepting a pledge pin, really go to town on researching them. This will make you stand out among a sea of PNMs, and you’ll know what houses are a good fit for you. Find out lineages, who dates who, what fraternity is the sorority’s favorite, and what chapter’s favorite things are. Sorority girls loooove stalking, so why not show off your stalking skills by finding out every tidbit of information possible? It says, “Look how perfect I am for your chapter! I know everything about you and I changed so I can fit in to be just like you!” Sorority girls love that shit. God forbid we have diversity or something different. That’s just scary.
Show Off What You Know
What’s the point of knowing all this without letting it be known that you have the stalking skills akin to a sorority girl scorned by a cheating boyfriend? If you want to be a Delta Gamma, wear something with anchors on it. Every day. If Alpha Chi Omega at your school has a local mascot of a skunk, mention aloud that Pepé Le Pew is your favorite cartoon character whenever around known sisters. When you see a lineage take pictures of themselves at Homecoming, talk to them like they’re all old friends and ask to take a “stacked lineage tree” with them. Bonus points if you talk about how you would fit perfectly in their lineage, while name-dropping their distant great-great-great-great-grand bigs. It’s not creepy or weird. It shows that you’re really passionate about the sorority, and they’ll appreciate the time it took to know all that information about them. Also, totally talk with their boyfriends and hookup buddies, mentioning how you want to be in their girlfriend’s sorority while flirting with him. Who cares if people get the wrong impression? You know he only wants to help get you in the same sorority as his girlfriend. He’ll have your back. Besides, boys = bids. Which brings me to…
Get Close With Your Top Choice’s Favorite Fraternities
You’ve done your research and you’ve shown off how you’re a perfect fit for that sorority. So far, so good. Now, through your research, you’ve probably found out what fraternities your top choice sororities like to associate with. This is your chance to get really close with them, because if you fit in with their favorite guys, then you’ll obviously get in well with the girls! Go to all their parties and just get on their good side in any way possible. Seriously. You’re a girl, so use your assets to prove why you’re a great girl. Props if you get one of the guys to actually have feelings for you, but remember to break it off, because guys like sluts. Besides, he probably won’t speak ill of you to girls in that sorority you wanted, and they won’t find out that you slept with his pledge brother. You’re just getting to know the guys. Besides, reputations don’t develop until sophomore year.
Express How Much You Want To Be In Each Sorority
Nothing makes a sorority girl’s heart sing like hearing, “I just want to be a [insert house letters here] so badly!” We thrive on that shit. We know we’re the best, and hearing people say they want to be part of our chapter is like giving a child a king size candy bar. Because we are suckers for praise and jealousy, you should take advantage of it. Strategic PNMs will bounce around from house to house, feeding this line to drunken sorority gals at parties. This is perfectly normal–you’re 18 and the Greek world is a large and exciting one. Because of that, you probably can honestly see yourself in more than one house. Expert-level PNMs will not only say this line, but will also talk badly about rival houses. “I just can’t stand Kappa,” they’ll sigh to their future sisters. “They’re all so fake and bitchy. I would much rather be a Zeta!” This will continue for weeks, putting on the façade that the girl is gung ho for Zeta. But hold the ticket! Wouldn’t you know she was saying the same things to Kappa? “Zetas are weird, and they’re, like, overly athletic. They’re not even that pretty.” They’ll feed into the negative stereotypes of each sorority, trying to prove that they hate your rival house, and obviously are meant for that house. This is a really smooth tactic, because sorority girls are notoriously NOT friends with girls in other houses, and will have no idea that the girl is feeding lies to both parties. It also shows the great value of loyalty–too bad she just doesn’t know where her loyalty lies.
Show Off Your Party Skills
While you might have all the makings of a great sorority sister, you need to show that you can hang with them, too. If you are lucky enough to be able to pregame with a group of sisters, don’t hold back. Get up on tables, take shots, and be fun. We really do love having fun, and we want fun in our sororities just as much as we want the next president of the United States to take office. Go hard at the pregame. Just because you have the tolerance of a 5-year-old and your only real drinking experience is from drinking fruity, sugary things you stole from your parents’ liquor cabinet, it doesn’t mean you can’t keep up with the best of them. Tell sisters that you could easily outdrink them–they’ll love a good competition. If you get too hammered, depend on your future sisters. This is a great test of sisterhood and to see if the girls are dependable. If they won’t take care of you now, what do you think will happen when you are initiated? Bonus points if you sleep in the sorority house, because you’ll live there eventually anyway! Expert PNMs will sleep in the bed of one of the sisters to test out the room. Who cares that she was going to have an adult sleepover. Chicks before dicks, am I right?
Follow these tips and you are sure to be recognized at recruitment. Every sorority will put you on its list (Hopefully the A-list!) and in no time, your reputation will take off. After doing all this, you might as well start crafting and learning how to make letter shirts. You’re definitely going to get a bid, so make sure to brag about how you “basically have a bid from [insert sorority here] already.” Sorority girls love hearing PNMs say that. Good luck, babies.
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Hakuna Moscato
Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.
@HakunaMoscato
