The new year brings a lot of new things. A new you, of course. A new outlook on life. A new diet. A new guy (Lol Jk.) But in addition to all of the new, great changes you’re making (because that diet is still happening, right?) there are some changes in politics. Not the US of A, but in a much more important branch. The Greek branch. And as the year flipped, so did the executive board of your sorority’s chapter. The old HBIC is out, and the new bitches are in, and everyone is trying to figure out who, exactly, does what. So in an effort to help you out (and scare you juuuuust a bit), I have ranked all of the positions that are on most e-boards, in order from most desirable to least. Before you get scared of your ritual chair, find out what she does. Trust.
The Head Bitches
Vice President is, arguably, the best position in all of exec. If your chapter is lucky enough to have this position, and you were lucky enough to be appointed it, you have it made. In most chapters, the “Executive Vice President” has little to any actual responsibilities. Sure, she might chair a few things, but she can usually pass those responsibilities onto some other lowly board member. She gets the prestige of having a very high up position, without the liability that the president has. If there’s an emergency, she might have to step in. But what are the chances of that happening? Until then she just sits back, and gets the second best of everything. Title without duty? It’s the dream.
Being the president isn’t “fun.” You don’t get to have fun. People wont think you’re fun. And you might actually forget what “fun” means. You have a shitton of responsibility, and you have to actually make sure the chapter follows the rules overwise your ass can get thrown into jail. No matter who else is in charge of something, you’re the one who is actually in charge of it. If it doesn’t get done, it falls on you. Still, there’s a reason everyone wants to be prez. Not only does it look bomb on your resumes, but the power? It’s amazing. People are scared of you, look up to you, and respect you. And once your reign is over, everyone, and I do mean everyone, will buy you drinks, pass you joints, and invite you to everything. Stick it out for a year, and I guarantee it’ll be worth it. Unless of course your chapter fucks up and you do hard time. But no pressure.
Oh your job is to have “relations” with all of the fraternities on campus? Your responsibilities include planning parties at cool values? Your purpose is to find of the best drink specials, come up with the best themes, and make sure we have a great fucking time? Oh shucks! What a drag. JK. The social chair is easily the funnest position on all of exec. The sisters love you. The guys love you. And if people aren’t “in” with you, they want to be. Even if the event sucks, most of the people are drunk so like, it’s still fine. Having the say in what bars you go to, what busses people are on, and what time you leave is hands down the best responsibility. I mean, isn’t that why you joined Greek life anyway? Sure people can get bitchy towards you, but then you can just pair them up with an oger for Greek Week. The power has its perks.
Standards isn’t the “cool” position. Pretty much the opposite of the social chair, the girl on standards is the one breaking up the party. She’s telling you to take down your Instagram picture, to go home because you’re too drunk, and to be a “sober sister” because you’re too much of a liability. She knows what everyone is doing at all times, and when you think of a fun-ruiner, you think of her. While that might turn some people off, others are drawn to the power. To the respect. To the fear that everyone else has of you. Besides, if you’re going to break the rules, you should be the one in charge of the punishments. Bonus? You know all of the dirty details of everyone in the chapter. That’s why the position is so big, it’s full of secrets.
New Member Coordinator
If there’s one position that will make you feel loved, it’s being “the mom.” The NMC (or whatever you call her) is in charge of turning the new babies into full-fledged members. This position results in lots of Instagram tags, a killer end-of-semester gift, and never-ending posts of love and support. Being the pledge mom gives you the best of everything. You have authority. You get to plan Bid Day. You are instantly adored by 60 plus girls. And while you have a secure position on exec, your job is more fun than anything else. You don’t have to yell at people. You don’t have to make sure people have a great time every Thursday. You don’t have to post passive-aggressive notes about dues or behavior. If it wasn’t one of the less powerful positions, it would be higher up. But let’s be real. You didn’t pick this position for rank. You picked it for that end-of-year Kate Spade bag from your babies and being done with your job after a few weeks of fake chapter meetings. Respect.