The Real Responses I Wish I Could Give To The Anti-Greek People In My Hometown


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Nice Move


I go to a school where Greek life is pretty big, so naturally I rushed my first year there and immediately fell in love with my sorority. However, my home state doesn’t really do the Greek thing so a lot of people don’t get why some of us go off to school and come back wearing letters. Because I have a reputation as a nice, respectful person in my hometown, I have grown accustomed to brushing off rude questions about my sorority life and giving answers that make everyone happy. But because I’m actually a passive-aggressive bitch, these are the much more sarcastic and snarky answers I wish I could give.

“Do you own clothes that don’t have your letters on them?”
Nope. I don’t own a single item of clothing that doesn’t represent my sorority. I actually often party naked because I have to completely strip down in order to be free of my letters. Wearing my letters around town clearly has nothing to do with thinking the t-shirts are cute (they are) and the fact that I am really proud of my sorority (because I should be). Of course not, it’s all because big/little week rolled around and I threw out every single item of pre-sorority clothing I had in order to fully embrace the Greek lifestyle.

“So did your grades slip because of your sorority then?”
Yes. I spend all of my waking hours partying, talking to frat boys and taking pictures featuring my sorority’s hand sign. What even is class? I wouldn’t know because I went to college to go Greek and that’s it!! Okay, seriously, my grades are actually none of your business. But since you asked, I spend more time studying with my sisters than partying, which is saying a lot because we also really like to party. Basically, we have more fun than you, and we also get better grades than you.

“Do you even hang out with people besides your sorority sisters?”
I’m gracing your GDI presence with my obviously superior company right now, aren’t I? Fun fact: I do that at school too. Of my closest friends in college, more of them are outside of my sorority than in it. But I have a lot of really great friends in my sorority too, and that is more than okay. I pick my friends because they are people that I like, and it’s inevitable that I am going to like a lot of my sorority sisters because we all received a bid from the same house for a reason. Plus, they’re kind of the shit.

“Your big… what?”
Yes, my big or big sister if you will. My person in the pledge class above me. Seriously, Google it if it still doesn’t make sense because you’re still giving me a funny look and I can’t explain it more simply. I know it would be easier to your uneducated ears if I just call her my friend, but she’s a lot more than that and it feels wrong to degrade her position in my life. She is my mom away from mom and my go-to for advice and comfort. And as a bonus, she’s a really cool mom who taught me the importance of happy hour and where to find the hidden alcohol at frat parties.

“So you basically just pay for your friends?”
Hell yes, I pay for my friends. Almost all clubs and activities require some sort of monetary investment to be involved, by the way, but you seem to have forgotten that. When I spent obscene amounts of time with my teammates in high school you weren’t questioning why I paid for participation, but suddenly it’s a big deal? Yes, I pay to be in my sorority where I coincidentally have a lot of good friends. It’s the best investment I have ever made.

Okay, so I can understand why you want to ask questions about a lifestyle you are unfamiliar with. So go ahead, ask me about what it’s really like to be in a sorority. Ask me about my philanthropy and the ways my sisters have influenced my life. Hell, ask me how I learned to make it to class with a hangover because even that is better than this condescending bullshit you’re giving me now. I’m a decent human being at heart and I want you to understand why I love being Greek. But I swear to my sorority’s patron goddess, if one more person makes a comment about how often I wear my letters, I’m going to start handing out bitch-slaps like they’re cookies at open houses.


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