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The Summer Bucket List You Can Accomplish From Your Couch

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Summer is all about freedom. The freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want without any stupid restrictions like school or standards. It’s a chance to see the world, to try new things, to meet new people, and to get outside and just do stuff.

Except if you’re like me and traveling gives you anxiety and you hate new people, new places, and the outdoors.

That’s why I devised a summer bucket list you could accomplish from the comfort of you own home. A lot of the things on this list aren’t as cool as seeing the Taj Mahal or going swimming with sharks, but at least you’ll have something to distract you from counting down the days until you get to go back to school.

  1. Forge a long-lasting relationship with the pizza delivery guy by placing an order at least three times a week.
  2. Blast your favorite artist’s latest album and dance around in your underwear for an hour. It’s basically the same thing as going to a concert, right?
  3. Watch Netflix on your computer under the covers. That’s basically camping.
  4. Exercise your brain by memorizing your credit card number.
  5. Learn how to french braid/fishtail braid your own hair.
  6. Paint on 116 layers of nail polish  just because.
  7. Watch endless amounts of Youtube makeup tutorials. You don’t have to actually attempt them, just hope and pray that you’ll somehow absorb those skills through osmosis.
  8.  Eat an entire jar of almond butter straight from the jar.
  9. Start preparing to go back to school by getting drunk and texting boys.
  10. Rid your hair of any and all split ends by continually picking at it for days. It’s cheaper than a visit to the salon.
  11. Attach a GoPro to your pet just to see what they do all day.
  12. Call your grandma and ask about the story of how she and your grandfather met. That should kill about three hours.
  13. Put a dab of peanut butter on your face and let your dog lick it off. Bam, you just got yourself a summer fling.
  14. Start practicing for your inevitable future by drinking alone.
  15. Take up a fun hobby like scrolling back to people’s first Instagram photos and judging them or knitting. (I’d go with the first one.)
  16. Go on a road trip! And by road trip, I mean lazily somersault from your couch to your room.
  17. Attempt to be somewhat of a productive human and do situps in front of the TV. Do one set and spend the next 20 min just laying there. Still counts.
  18. Go through your camera roll and delete all those extra “candid” pictures. You know, the 55 images you took and only posted one of them to Instagram?
  19. Ask your friends to send you pictures of their fabulous summer excursions so you can live vicariously through them.
  20. Make a list of things people you want to do when you get back to school.
  21. Wear an outfit for a full day. Turn it inside out. Wear it again.
  22. When you really can’t go one more day without showering, take a shower sitting down.
  23. See how many times you can reuse the same dirty paper plate until it disintegrates.
  24. Lay your blanket down on the ground. Lay down on one side of it and roll into the rest of it until you become a burrito. It *almost* feels like human contact, which is exactly what you want.
  25. Read the backs of every book you said you would read this summer. Summer reading list = accomplished.
  26. See how long it takes your body to become fully nocturnal by going to bed at 7 a.m. and waking up at 7 p.m.
  27. Masturbate.

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Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: [email protected] (not .com).

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