The Truth About Why We Can’t Stop Hooking Up With Our Exes


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Guys come and go. Sometimes the dude you can’t go a weekend without banging leaves your life faster than a restock of Kylie’s lip kits. You didn’t really have a falling out, but you lost touch and consequently stopped touching. You’re stunned for a quick second, but it doesn’t take much for you to bounce back and move on to bigger and better things — literally. You’ve successfully forgotten about the existence of the guy, and then it happens.

He hits you up with that “how you been?” text and your mind begins traveling in a million different directions with all the possibilities. Sure, you’d have no problem ignoring his text, it wouldn’t be the first time. But he really was so nice and a simple reply doesn’t mean anything. I mean, it’s really no surprise he texted you. Sooner or later he was gonna miss your hot self. They all come crawling back eventually. It’s up to you to stand your ground and not fulfill their needs.

But your willpower starts to slip. No matter how hard you try to stop picturing him naked, how hard you try to forget what he brought in bed, you cannot put forth enough effort to resist the temptation. Before you know it, it’s 9 a.m. and you’re staring at a ceiling that’s all too familiar. You’re disappointed in yourself for giving in, but honestly not the least bit surprised.

We simply cannot resist old flings and for many good reasons. The first is that previous hookups are just easier. You both know exactly how things are going to go. There’s something comforting about routine. You won’t have to mess around with boring small talk, get to know each other, or anything like that. There won’t be any surprises either. His weird use of tongue while kissing doesn’t catch you off guard anymore. There won’t be any awkward attempts of him suggesting you go down on him because he knows there’s no chance of that. It’s simple and satisfying. It’s all anyone needs.

Another reason you can’t refuse the men of your past is your memory. It often does this stupid trick where it remembers things being a lot better than they actually were. Since it’s been a few months, you think back on having sex with this guy and remember it being jaw dropping. He knew where his hands should be at all times and left you feeling like you had just reached the stars. You forget all the awkward, “no that doesn’t go there” parts and only remember the good parts. So you revisit the experience with high expectations, only to be given mediocre service at best.

It’s inevitable that if given the chance, you’ll hook up with someone you have before. Between your love for routine and twisted memory, you keep finding yourself in the same bed. And just like every time before, you swear you’re never going back. But history is doomed to repeat itself, my dear. You might as well accept it.

Blackout_B (@b_m4rie) enjoys drinking beer by the gallon and making memories she'll never actually remember. When she isn't embarrassing herself by making out with randos on the dance floor, you can find her pretending it's normal to drink a glass of wine with breakfast every day. It's fun to sit down with her on Sunday mornings and hear how fucked up her weekend was. Send inquires about her sanity to:

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