You know what’s annoying? The fact that your ex still exists. I’m not saying you want him dead or anything. You’re not crazy. But you would like it if he could just, disappear. Go away. Take his asshole ways and leave.
Unfortunately, he can’t. But thanks to the BAND app, you can have the next best thing.
The ability to trash talk the shit out of him without looking like a horrible person.
But how, you ask? If you say how terrible he is to your friends, they’ll hate you when you inevitably get back together with him (dreaming big here, okay). If you vent to his friends, you’ll look like a bitter ex who wants to cause problems. This app, however, lets you tell people how much he sucked, in life and in bed, without looking like a bad person.
Yeah. It’s pretty much a college girl’s dream come true. But how does it work? Just think if Pinterest and Reddit had a baby, and then Instagram and Facebook groups (you know the ones I’m talking about) had a baby, and then those babies had a baby, this would be their love child. When you get the app, you can join different “bands” (get it?) that interest you. If that means joining your sorority’s secret group to discuss events or shit talk other chapters (JK, pan love), or joining the “I Hate My Ex” group and venting about how much you, well, hate your ex, there are groups for literally everything.
Especially for dishing about how much of a tool your former boyfriend really is.
Because unlike Facebook groups, text messages, or sobbing to your best friend’s sister’s roommate’s twin at the bar, with Band you can be anonymous. You get to make up your own name and have whatever identity you want. Plus, you can change identities with each band. Not only that, the people you get advice from, and vent to, are anonymous as well. This means that not only can you vent about everything without holding back, you’ll also get 100 percent honest advice. No one is biased. No one knows your ex. No one cares that you called him every name in the book or that you secretly want to steal him back.
All they care about is you, your story, and agreeing with you that yes, your ex is a total d-bag.
Sure, there are other bands too. Ones that can help you stay in touch with sisters. Ones that can help you have a more organized life. And ones that are there to purely make you happy. But when you want to make your ex look like a dick, it’s there for that too. Best of all no one in your “real life” ever has to know that you called him a dog on National Dog Day. Win-win. Download the app, pass the wine, and join BAND. Trust me, it will make you feel better than any boy ever could..
Download the app here.
Images via BAND