This High School Kid’s Senior Portraits Are So Extra


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Nice Move

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High school is a cold-hearted bitch with a 14-inch strap-on. Honestly, I could not even fabricate a more terrible time in a person’s life. Everyone’s trying to figure out how to actually dress and look presentable while they’ve got zits down to their ass cracks, boys are trying to put their random boners to good use now that the girls finally have tits, but there’s nowhere to do it because your parents are home so you have to be quiet or creative, and while you’re looking for a spot to fuck you find vodka and try that for the first time, and suddenly your whole outlook on life has changed, all while trying to study for a math test on shit you will never use again. If you make it out of this hellhole, it’s only natural to celebrate. You want to document that triumphant point in your life. Because chances are, you will never look that skinny again.

Senior portraits can be the cheesiest thing on the face of the planet. Oh, so you just happened upon an abandoned railroad, and you just happened to be posing like some cross between Avril Lavigne and every model on ANTM? What a classic and natural look. Some people try to spice it up by taking them at place like Taco Bell, which makes them look even more like a tryhard than if they just whined their way through a photo shoot next to a tree.

But this kid. THIS fuckin’ kid. This kid’s pictures make him look like Jordan Belfort’s younger twin. His senior pictures show the type of celebrating that should happen when you survive four years of hormone-induced insanity.

Throwing money out of an abandoned airplane are you fucking kidding me? Does he live in a Rihanna music video?

If this is what he’s like in high school, this guy is about to destroy college.

[via Distractify]

Image via Twitter

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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