This Website Lets You Buy Fake Graduation Cords To Fool Your Parents


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Getting a high GPA in college can be tricky. What with the parties, the boyfriends, the beer Olympics, and those fifteen required service hours per semester, it’s hard to be bothered with something as unimportant as grades. For awhile, we manage to slip by. When your parents ask how you’re doing, you mutter something about “going to office hours” and look over your sorority’s test bank an hour before your exams. And for the most part, it’s working out well. You’re scraping by with mostly Bs and a few grades you don’t want to ever admit to. Still, when May of your senior year comes around (you know, like now), you’ll be fine with a 3.2ish GPA.

Except of course when your parents realize — oh shit — I just spent how much on my kid and they didn’t do much in school? Between all of the drinks and darties, you didn’t get quite as involved as you led them to believe. So come graduation day, your wardrobe is going to look pretty damn empty.

Until now. Thanks to a genius company called Impress My Parents you can buy all of the cords and honors you never actually earned.

With choices from cords, stoles, and bundles, you can now convince your parents that the reason your GPA isn’t so high is because you were busy attending the young scholars club. And the poetry club. And the networking club? Whatever you want to say, you’ll have the tassels to prove it. The company guarantees shipment in time for graduation. So never fear — you won’t look like the piece of shit student you actually were for four years. And if we’ve learned anything from college, it’s how to bullshit our way through any situation.

[via Impress My Parents]

Image via Youtube

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to:

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