Tinder Is Trading The “Swipe Right Or Left” Feature For Something Even Weirder


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Don’t you hate it when you’re laying in bed on a Saturday afternoon, watching Netflix and eating takeout when all of a sudden your finger cramps up while using Tinder? After judging countless people’s worth based on just a few picture and a generic bio (insert literally any song lyric), your fingers get tired, your eyes get strained, and you just want to give up on the dream of finding someone who is willing to touch your genitals without ever having to leave your apartment.

But thanks to some innovators at T3, all hope isn’t lost. According to Daily Mail, Tinder is now going “hands-free.” Basically the app is using Apple’s heart monitor feature to match lazy, horny people together.

From the article:

The hands-free version takes this a step further by automating the process.

When a profile is opened, the heart rate monitor starts tracking the wearer’s pulse and if there is a noticeable increase, it assumes they like the profile and the app automatically generates a right swipe.

If the heart rate doesn’t increase, or decreases, it generates a left swipe.

Gone are the days of having to consciously decide if you like someone. Now our Apple products will be able to tell us if we want to have awkward, drunken sex with a random without ever lifting a finger. Literally. So if an app that will let you know if the guy looking at your photo has a boner (let’s be real, we all know what “increased heart rate” really means) is for you, then get excited.

This app will be out soon, and should join the Android family whenever they come out with a wearable birth control device. Just don’t think too hard about what he’ll do with his free hands, if you get what I’m saying (yes, it’s a masturbation joke). Personally I don’t think anyone who is still using Tinder and has a smart watch is someone I want to get naked with anyway, but whatever. Different swipes for different types.

[via Daily Mail]

Image via Shutterstock

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to: rachel@grandex.co

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