To The Guy I Never Got To Sleep With


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Nice Move


Yesterday, I was just minding my own business. I was up to date on all my tweets and snaps and was bored enough to scroll through my Facebook timeline when it happened. Just as my thumb was racing a mile a minute through the pointless cooking videos and meaningless rants from my relatives, I saw your face. You had changed your profile pic and your cheekbones had never looked so good and my mind started daydreaming thoughts of you. Thoughts about you that I’ve had time and time again.

You know most girls have guys they regret sleeping with. Not me. I have a guy I regret not sleeping with and that simple Facebook post was a reminder of my defeat. I’m not sure why our stars never aligned. Why I never locked eyes with you across the bar on a faithful Thursday night and sealed the deal to my destiny. Why we were never set up together for a date party or matched up as beer pong partners. Why my friends and your friends never introduced us. When everything could have played out perfectly, why was it anything but?

It pains me that I’ll never know the touch of your hands on my waist. Or if you have that certain guy musk that makes it hard for me to stay clothed. I’ll never know if you’re a lights on or lights off kind of guy. If you like kissing or just getting down to business. If you’d want to get to know me first or if you’d be aroused by the anonymity.

Maybe you would fall asleep immediately afterwards. Or maybe you would let me get my fill of pillow talk. I imagine you’re the type of guy who’s hands off when it comes to cuddling, but how awesome would it be if you proved me wrong. Would you ask for my number in the morning or just hope that our paths crossed again? Would you make this just a one time deal or let it continue on?

Whenever I’m reminded of you, all these unanswered questions rush through my head. My attraction to you is something fierce and it’s not healthy for me to live in the unknown like this. I pray that we’ll see each other again someday and all will work out. It will be everything I ever dreamed of or my expectations would be let down. Either way, it would be nice to get on with my life and really know the truth about what I am or am not missing out on.

You know, time really does fly by. Someone you have all the intentions in the world of banging is here today, gone tomorrow. Guys graduate, get girlfriend’s, or take a leave of absence from the hooking up lifestyle. You’ve got to get them while they’re still hot and ready. Don’t wait until it’s too late like I did. Sleep with the guys you fantasize about while you still can. It’s now or never. Your dick destiny awaits.

Blackout_B (@b_m4rie) enjoys drinking beer by the gallon and making memories she'll never actually remember. When she isn't embarrassing herself by making out with randos on the dance floor, you can find her pretending it's normal to drink a glass of wine with breakfast every day. It's fun to sit down with her on Sunday mornings and hear how fucked up her weekend was. Send inquires about her sanity to:

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