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Top 10 Biggest Party Schools That Have Brains

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“Work hard, play harder” is probably the most widely used catchphrase when we describe the culture of our colleges to others. But very few schools in this fine country of ours can truly say their motto is “Work hard, play harder…and then earn a fuckton of money afterwards.” Until now.

Business Insider has just released their “Top 10 Biggest Party Schools That Are Worth Your Money” ranking for 2014, which some (NOTE: me) might refer to as “Top 10 Best Schools If You Want To Find A Fun And Successful Husband.” The list was calculated by comparing the estimated cost of attendance with your expected return on investment (ROI) post-graduation. Take a look:

1. Lehigh University — Cost: $219,200, ROI: $526,900

2. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign — Cost: $172,600, ROI: $482,200

3. University of Maryland, College Park — Cost: $167,700, ROI: $429,200

4. University of Texas at Austin — Cost: $202,800, ROI: $400,400

5. Pennsylvania State University — Cost: $179,000, ROI: $369,400

6. University of California, Santa Barbara — Cost: $222,100, ROI: $364,500

7. University of Florida — Cost: $168,500, ROI: $357,700

8. Miami University — Cost: $186,400, ROI: $337,700

9. Syracuse University — Cost: $220,100, ROI: $324,700

10. DePauw University — Cost: $192,600, ROI: $312,800

Coincidence that all of these schools have some of the best Greek systems in the country? I think not. The first, and arguably most important lesson we learn as Greeks is how to manage our time. We learn to balance our notes with our shots, our papers with our mixers, and our reading with our raging. And the second most important lesson we discover? You can always retake a class, but you can never relive a party.

It doesn’t come as a surprise that the majority of the schools on this list are huge—what with business school powerhouses like Illinois and UT-Austin and all—which is why special attention should be given to 10th ranked DePauw and titleholder, Lehigh. Having just spent a weekend in Chicago, believe me when I say DePauw deserves a spot on this list. And to all who don’t think Lehigh deserves the gold in this category: do me a favor and make your way to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania for the weekend (or any Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday). Never underestimate the underdog, just ask CJ McCullom.

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Drunk but not in love

(@DrunkNOTinLove) is a die-hard Splenda addict who requires a constant supply of caffeine and male attention to make it through the day. After graduating with her degree in Economics, she now focuses her energy on adding a "Home" to her degree title by perfecting the "intelligent drunk," and conning a banker into marrying her one day. Originally from New England, she is a hardcore Boston sports fan, but only when boys are around. Almost all of her calories consumed Thursday - Saturday (and the occasional Tuesday) are from $7 bottles of Yellowtail Moscato, and in no way, shape, or form is she fazed by this. All forms of hate mail and date party inquiries can be sent to drunkbutnotinlove@gmail.com

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