Picture a wide-eyed woman staring down at her phone, while ignoring everyone and everything around her. Plot twist, she walked off a pier in Australia. Yesterday, witnesses spotted a woman “floundering in the water” (literally, that’s verbatim) and clutching her mobile phone. Onlookers said that she was STILL checking her phone during the fall and in the water. She was pulled from the water and treated at the local hospital. This technology-addict is fine. Relax, everyone. She even apologized to first-responders as they pulled her out of the water.
While everyone’s tripped and fallen once in their life, this woman’s tumble went viral. Of course it was a woman, go figure. Way to reinforce all terrible stereotypes about women and social media. Facebook isn’t even the most interesting choice for social media, it’s chock full of engagements and babies. I personally mostly use mine to see other people’s pages. I don’t even know what my own prof pic is right now. It should be recognized that she was checking her own Facebook page, not stalking an ex or writing on her grandmother’s wall. I would sympathize a little more if she was looking at something interesting. She could’ve updated her status thrice during this ordeal, once during the fall, once while she was floating in the abyss, and once while everyone was laughing at her. If you are updating your status LIVE while falling from anything, stop. Maybe next time one of her Facebook friends can alert her that she’s about to tumble. And get a Twitter. That’s what live-tweeting is for. But when you’re so self-absorbed that you FALL OFF A PIER while combing your own page, it might be time to step back.
Doesn’t the general Eastern Orient population have cell phones that we haven’t dreamed of yet? Haven’t they designed some kind of alert system for these things? Oh wait, we don’t need that, because we have EYES. Try looking up every few seconds. Your phone isn’t that interesting and your Facebook definitely isn’t.
Should you find yourself on a pier, turn your attention to staying above the shark infested waters instead of seeing who “liked” your status today. If you can’t put one foot in front of the other and also scan a digital screen, you probably shouldn’t have access to a phone. Or public walkways.