UCF PD Brings Hazmat Crew Into Theta Chi For “Suspicious White Substance,” Just Protein Powder


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When I was 16 years old, I went to the candy store before the movies and bought some candy cigarettes, because I thought it was hilarious. I left them on my dresser in my bedroom and thought nothing of it. My mom put a laundry basket in my room, found the box, and immediately let me have it. She yelled, and screamed, and called me every name in the book. I couldn’t contain my laughter, which enraged her further, until I made her open the box of “cigs.” The look on her face is something I’ll hold near and dear to me until the end of time. There are few things in this world that are more wonderful than your parents being wrong about yelling at you, and having to own up to it.

Theta Chi fraternity at UCF experienced this on an even larger scale, when the UCF police department and HAZMAT CREW raided the house because of a “suspicious white substance,” which was later discovered to be protein powder.

Of course, no public apology has been issued, even though the following tweet was sent.

But honestly, knowing that the entire department is getting its ass chewed out for such a juvenile blunder is worth it. If they don’t throw the most banging cocaine themed party ever, complete with fake snow and Groucho glasses with giant noses, they’re doing everything wrong.

[via Knight News]

Image via Shutterstock

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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