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University Of Illinois Neighborhood Pizzeria Offers Free Pizza For Tits

When I’m drunk, there’s a lot of things I’d do for a free slice of pizza. I’m not above stealing it — I’ve stolen pizza from a loud, crowded pizzeria after the bars more times than I can count. Flashing my tits, however, is probably actually also something I would do. Unfortunately, they didn’t accept nipples as currency at the pizza places at my school.

The students at the University of Illinois, however, were in luck this week. Drew’s Pizza in Champaign, Illinois offered women free slices of pizza if they’d lift their shirts for the employees and customers. Realizing that sex sells, Drew’s took their new marketing technique to Twitter asking for “More tits.”

Tit Tweets

They’ve since taken down both their Twitter and Facebook pages, as I imagine they’re in hot water for their little scheme. I say, we start a revolution and start demanding free shit for our boobs everywhere:

“I do want fries with that, actually. Do you accept boobies here?”

“I’d loveee that Birkin. How many tits do you want for it?”

I’m not sure when it crosses the line from “drunk and slutty” to “prostitution,” but I’m pretty sure this would put us on the safe side.

[via Huffington Post]

Image via The 305

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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