The signature raised eyebrow once-over you give to other girls. TSM.

Leaving someone out of a group iMessage is the passive aggressive way of saying “You can’t sit with us.” TSM.

My trips to the grocery store are dictated by when I’m running low on Diet Coke. TSM.

I’m a Samantha. And I’m referring to the American Girls. TSM.

Licking the spoon after baking for my fratdaddy, because life is too short. TSM.