What Each Member Of Exec Actually Does


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Nice Move


Sure we all know that exec runs the show. That is a given. But no matter how extremely official they seem when Nationals comes to visit, or at chapter, we all know what they really do.

President: Overseer of all the madness that ensues in the chapter. Deals with the criers, complainers, and crazies. Equal balance of bitchiness and the nicest person you will ever meet.

VP Chapter Relations/Standards: Baddest bitch in town. Don’t mess with standards. She decides your fate. By that I mean how much they’re going to fine you for being a drunk bitch on the bus to formal.

VP Finance: All the monies. But in reality, she’s the one who has to deal with the crazy emails from psycho parents about your recruitment fines. Oops. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Smith. Your daughter missed a day of recruitment because she was too hungover.”

VP Risk Manager: So much vomit. Literally God bless risk manager. An angel sent from above to deal with our ratchetry.

VP Recruitment : Basically president of the chapter for two weeks. Has the ability to go from screaming at everyone inside, to smiling at every PNM walking through the door in 0.5 seconds. Honestly impressive.

VP New Member Education: This girl is essentially a mother without the stretch marks. She cares for all the babies in the nest until they are truly ready to be pushed out and fly on their own.

VP Public Relations: Makes sure the Instagram and Tumblr are good enough to make Kylie jealous.

VP Facilities : Makes sure the house doesn’t fall apart, and that you don’t drive the house mom to an insane asylum with all of the shit she gets put through.

VP Philanthropy : Flirts with all of the frat guys to make sure your philanthropy event is a day that everyone remembers. She’s like a social chair for a day. You go, philanthropy.

VP Intellectual Development: That voice in the back of your head that’s like, “yeah you actually do need to study for this midterm and not go hook up with Brian again.” A blessing and a curse for sure.

Cheers to you, exec board. (But not inside the house, of course).


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