What Recruitment Is Like For Girls Who Hate Everything


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Despite the way the media tends to portray sorority girls, we’re not all bubbly, cheerful, giggly, bow-wearing crafters decked out from head to toe in glitter and various shades of pink. Some of us more cynical girls were born with the cursed gift of sarcasm, prefer to wear black, and have enough piercings to provoke a scowl from our beloved house mother. Friendly reminder that this is totally okay, as long as you didn’t join your sorority solely because you thought that animal sacrifices and other cult-like rituals were an actual thing.

You may have been born with a sarcasm filter that ensures everything you say is dripping in that same snarky attitude that made high school a living hell, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care about people and causes that are close to you. Your sorority is obviously important to you, even if you don’t sport your letters 24/7 and jump at the chance to do a cartwheel in front of a camera or act out a spaz attack for those stupid videos your recruitment chair keeps bugging you to be in.

Which brings us to recruitment. Even though you like nothing more than hanging around all your favorite people, cracking jokes and having honest conversations and laughs (mostly at someone else’s expense), that doesn’t mean the idea of engaging in continuous rounds of small talk with strangers excites you. Recruitment for snarky girls is painful, and not just because the days are long and you’d rather be spending your time doing something that actually interests you, but because the entire week is an act. You have to act like you might have chosen to wear those modest J-Crew shorts and Panhellenic tees, even though you actually consider them to be the worst things you’ve ever put on your body. You have to act like you want to be there, having the same conversation with every tiny, innocent freshman. You have to act like it doesn’t make you a little bit happy that they’re all terrified of you. You have to act like you don’t think the entire process is superficial. You have to act like you’re an extroverted, innately friendly girl. You have to act like you’re someone you’re not. And it fucking sucks.

You’ve probably attempted to explain this to the girls who wake up every morning praying for the opportunity to bounce up and down while chanting and flashing their perfect porcelain teeth at incoming freshmen. But they’ll never get it, because honestly, they probably just think you sound like a bitter hag in need of a major attitude adjustment. Don’t let this discourage you. You don’t need to change jack shit. Sure, people probably think you’re a total bitch when they first meet you, but anyone who matters will figure out that you’re a real person with (some) feelings eventually. And if they don’t, fuck ’em. You have enough friends already, and they’re all total gems.

Recruitment can be truly awful for those of us who don’t fit the typical mold of a sorority girl. Despite this, it’s important to remember that even though people might not think that you respect your sorority’s traditions or the concept of seeking out girls to join your sisterhood, the only thing that matters is that you know how you feel about it. So what you’re not as outwardly caring and mushy as most of the girls? You are still a vital part of your chapter and the sisterhood that you and the other members have built. Who you are and how you perceive the world is 100% okay, even if you have to slap on a smile and a polite attitude for a few days so that potential new members feel welcome in a house that they might one day call home.

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at lucy@grandex.co.

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