White Dude In Bow Tie And Suspenders Is Out Of Place In His Own Rap Video


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White Dude In Bow Tie And Suspenders Is Out Of Place In His Own Rap Video

You guys, the greatest rap video to ever grace this Earth just dropped. It’s got everything — fancy cars, big-bootied women, a white guy in a bow tie, chinos, and suspenders. Wait, what?

Some dude who goes by the moniker “Young C.E.O.” (brilliant) is apparently worth $20 million and made this weird rap video for, uhhh, no reason at all as far as we can tell.

I can’t handle it. So many questions. Who is this guy? Where did he get his rosy-cheeked hype men? Why does he sound like he’s crying? Are those girls really his ladiez or are they models paid to stand there? DOES HE NOT OWN CONTACTS?

I think I speak for everyone when I say I hope this Young C.E.O. isn’t a one-trick pony. I’d like to see more from him — a budding rap career with more and more bangers, a close friendship with the likes of Kanye and Jay-Z, a girlfriend with an ass that won’t quit, a possible drug scandal — no one is better suited for the high life.

And before any of you judge this lyrical genius, just remember: he has a trust fund, the rest doesn’t matter.

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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