Why Boys In Long-Distance Relationships Are The Worst

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Nice Move

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You’re out for the night, looking amazing (duh), and end up meeting the most awesome, perfect guy. You hit it off immediately, and just when you think he’s going to make a move, BAM! He drops the long-distance girlfriend bomb on you. The only way this situation could be worse, is if you’d already hooked up with him before finding out about his girlfriend back home, so you feel like absolute scum (or you don’t care, in which case, you’re evil and I hate you).

I really don’t understand why people feel the need to have long-distance relationships in college. You’re just making it hard on everybody: on yourselves, on your girlfriends (who are either struggling to beat back tides of boys, or struggling to conceal the fact that they’ve hooked up with them), and most importantly, on other women. Not only are you celibate, but you’re leading single women on, and that’s no fun for anyone. Unless it’s a short-term situation, like a study abroad program or summer vacation, LDRs just shouldn’t exist. If it’s meant to be, it will be. The prime years of your life are not the time to test if your relationship can handle the distance and the time apart. Ladies, I understand the desire to lock down a good thing, but save all the effort and heartache for a time when you’re married and your husband has to frequently travel across the country in his corporate jet to important meetings while you’re at home planning the next charity ball.

Although there is the rare couple that can make a long-distance relationship work, most of the time, they just end in disaster and pain. It’s way better to take this time in your life to discover who you are and enjoy the company of people close to you, rather than strain a relationship with someone you’re inevitably growing apart from anyway.

While I appreciate the drinks that these boys buy me at the bar, the swing dancing, and the witty, flirtatious banter, ultimately, I really hate wasting my time on something that’s going to be a dead end. If you find yourself in one of these situations, you might end up talking beyond the first night you met him. You’ll delude yourself into believing you’re ok with the situation, that he loves you more, and that eventually, he will break up with his lady for you, but darling, you couldn’t be more wrong. He’s not going to pull out the stops on Valentine’s day, at least not for you, and chances are, he’s a repeat offender. You don’t want to get tied down to a cheater. You should spend your valuable time elsewhere, with someone who doesn’t make you feel like the spawn of Satan when you remember that you’re the reason some girl hundreds of miles away is suffering.

The best thing to do with these guys is to use them. Use the heck out of them. Let them buy you drinks if it’s a slow night, enjoy the dancing and conversation, but after the night is over, it’s best to go your separate ways, stalk his girlfriend, determine you’re prettier, and never think of him again…or until he’s single.

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