My junior year of college, I was broke. My parents came up with the genius system of giving me an allowance, rather than letting me just use their credit card (and yes, I know how spoiled this sounds), so that I could spend my money on whatever I wanted without having to run it by them. Also so I could learn to manage my finances. Joke’s on them, though, because I overdrafted my account, like, every month. Or maybe the joke was on me, now that I think about it. In any case, I had no money.
I still wanted, no, needed to go on spring break. The previous year, I’d stayed home. And it wasn’t that avoiding the outside world for fear of running into an ex’s parents, wearing the same sweatpants every day, and accumulating enough grease in my hair to fry chicken wasn’t a blast — it really was — but when I came back to campus and saw all my friends turned had turned into bronzed goddesses, I couldn’t bear it. They were telling stories about meeting celebrities performing on the beach, and having their first experience with multiple orgasms. I was just like “yeah, well, my mom’s shih tzu gained FOUR pounds! That’s a lot for a shih tzu!”
I refused to let that happen to me again. So I saved up $1000 to go on spring break, only to realize that when I got there, I’d need $1,000 more. Not great.
I know your struggle, which is why TSM is offering you a chance to win a FREE spring break cruise March 11-14 for you and two friends who are 21 by March 11. (If March 11-14 doesn’t coincide with your school’s break, Student City will hook you up in PCB or South Padre.) All you have to do is fill out the information below for a chance to enter. And it will be real free, not fake free, because the cruise is all-inclusive. Free food. Free alcohol. Free board. The only cost to you is the cost of travel to Miami where the ship docks, and taxes and fees.
And then, once you’re there, you get to party with me and the rest of the TSM and TFM crew. We’ll be hosting an exclusive TFM and TSM mixer on the ship. Sign up below, and you’re in. Plus, there’s tons of artists, like Tyga and The Chainsmokers. And, you know, I’m starting to feel pretty comfortable with you guys. We’re all friends here, right? So I’m going to let you in on a secret. Lil Dicky is going to be there, and I’m going to bang him. And since you just said we were friends, he’s hands off. Friends don’t go after guys friends have dibs on.
And the rest of time? We’ll be taking photos, and videos, and getting drunk. And hey, maybe you’ll even have a shot of being *~*Internet Famous*~* if our crew features you on our site or social media channels.
Read more about our awesome trip on our official spring break page. Or don’t, and just come party. Enter by February 5 by filling out the information below..
Nice Move275
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
@VeronicaRuckh
@VeronicaRuckh
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