Woman Burns Boyfriend’s Penis With A Hair Straightener After He Cheats Proving There Are People Crazier Than You


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Nice Move

Hair Straightener

It’s a classic story of love and betrayal. Man and woman find each other on Facebook. Man slides into woman’s DMs. Then into her pants. Then slides into someone else’s pants. Then woman burns man’s penis with a hair straightener because, love.

But don’t be quick to judge, because he totally had it coming.

Basically, 22-year-old Bronwyn Joy Parker told her boyfriend that if he cheated on her, she would burn his dick. Like, she literally told him that. So you’d think he’d either be like “okay, not going to cheat on this bitch” or he’d run the fuck away. But no. He agreed. And things started out peachy. But then they went downhill and her bf found solace with someone else. His ex-girlfriend, someone else. And he proceeded to spend two nights with said ex.

So, when he got back to his current girlfriend, she proceeded to burn his penis with her hair straightener, like they agreed upon.

It turns out, just because they said it would be cool if this went down, the courts disagree.

From Daily Mail:

The judge recognized the jealous nature of Ms Parker and the troubled relationship, which saw her initially planning to burn her boyfriend’s testicles.

‘You regularly abused him, including physically, if you suspected, or, if he admitted to being unfaithful to you. You were particularly jealous of his association with his ex-girlfriend,’ he said.

Apparently, Bronwyn thought that a few seconds of straightener contact would only feel like a sunburn, instead of the resulted third degree burns. She’s received “a suspended nine-month jail sentence upon entering an 18-month good behavior bond.” I guess thanks to the burned man-meat she created, her (ex?) boyfriend’s “penis will be scarred for life and he will suffer from a number of issues, including the proper function of his penis, not to mention the cosmetic and psychological problems associated with the scarring to such a sensitive site,” the judge ruled.

Aw. Poor penis. And also, poor hair straightener. I bet it will never be the same after this.

So ladies, there you have it. Even if you and the bf make an agreement that you can destroy his penis if he’s unfaithful, you might not get away with it. But still, she made her point. And I have a feeling that he’ll never cheat again. So like, it sort of worked?

Ah. To be in love.

[via Daily Mail]

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to: rachel@grandex.co

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