Woman Falls Out Of Apartment Window While Sleeping, Sues Complex For Her Mistake


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Nice Move

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There are a few basic things that all people, even those of lesser intelligence, know to be true. Most folks have enough common sense to steer clear of hot stoves, stay away from large metal items during thunder storm, and avoid open windows when they’re multiple stories high.

But most people aren’t Shelbi Macholz, an Oregon woman who has decided to sue her apartment complex after she rolled off of her bed and out of her third-story window. Macholz claims that her apartment complex failed “to warn her of the latent danger of fully opening a window on the third floor of an apartment building.” Which is strange, because I was under the impression that even children with a basic knowledge of heights knew that anyone is capable of falling out of an open window.

I could understand if she was suing the apartment because they broke into her room in the middle of the night and opened it themselves like sneaky little bitches, or if they fashioned some type of giant vacuum device through which they sucked her out of her room. But none of that happened. This lady chose to place her bed next to a window, open said window, and fall asleep directly next to a giant gaping hole that lead to a three story plummet. How dumb does she have to be to blame anyone but herself for this situation?

The restless sleeper racked up a boatload of injuries, and is seeking $80,000 for damages, plus another $150,000 for pain and suffering. I’m requesting $15 from Shelbi just for reading this, because this whole situation is so painfully stupid that I’m going to need a few margs to recover.

[via The Oregonian]

Image via Shutterstock

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at lucy@grandex.co.

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