Woman Gives Birth In An Uber, Says “Eff It,” And Names Her Baby Uber


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Nice Move

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There are a lot of weird baby names out there these days. Really weird. We’re talking names that are hardly suitable for dogs, let alone people. I mean, isn’t there some kind of child cruelty law that prevents people from naming their kids after fruit, rap albums, and directions? Everyone wants their kid to be unique, and very few people actually consider the effect this will have later in life when their daughter applies for a job and has to introduce herself as “Cinnamon.” Life’s a bitch when your parents don’t give a shit.

A New Dehli woman found inspiration for her baby’s name in a mode of transportation, more specifically, the Uber in which she gave birth. After the woman went into labor, her friends reportedly failed to find an ambulance in time. They opted to call an Uber, which they turned into a delivery room when she realized the baby was on his way. The baby was born minutes after entering the car, and the mother, probably delirious from pushing a human being out of her vagina without even a drop of drugs to numb the excruciating pain, decided to name her newborn son Uber.

It’s actually kind of fitting, when you think about it. I’ve never had to wait more than five minutes for an Uber. They’re insanely fast, which is a characteristic that they just happen to share with baby Uber. The same way your driver doesn’t wait for you to finish your last pregame cocktail, little baby Uber just didn’t want to wait for mom to get to a hospital. Speedy lil’ bitch.

The best part of this whole ordeal is that when the driver finally got to the hospital and brought mom and Uber in on a wheelchair, the hospital mistook him for the father. Seems legit. I can remember several instances when I have gotten uncomfortably close to an Uber driver after a night out. Once they hand you the aux cord and tell you where they’re from, all social boundaries go straight out the window.

Congratulations to the new mom and baby Uber. Let’s hope she encourages him to pursue more than the one obvious career path.

[via The Times of India]

Image via MikeDotta / Shutterstock.com

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at lucy@grandex.co.

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