After a breakup when the guy cheats on you, there are only two country music routes: Miranda Lambert’s classy mom’s advice and hide your crazy and act like a lady, or go full Carrie Underwood and slash his tires. What is it with country singers really knowing the right way to teach a cheater a lesson? Seriously, if you need advice, just put on old Taylor Swift (think “Picture To Burn”) or go straight to the queen of crazy, Miranda Lambert herself, and just scream his name until the neighbors call the cops. On the other hand, if you believe in taking the high road in a breakup and remaining calm and poised despite your crushed heart, I admire you, but I hate you. That sort of self-control just isn’t natural, and all that bottled up resentment will find a way out somehow.
If you’re in the car keying, full on crazy category, come sit by me. Almost nothing hurts worse than being cheated on by someone you trusted to love you, and it’s my personal opinion that a major reaction is not only understandable, but warranted. If you sound bitter and betrayed, that’s his own damn fault. He should’ve thought of that before he took his cue from Shaggy and banged the babysitter on the bathroom floor. Now he can kiss those brand new golf clubs goodbye, because you’re using them to smash his car windows. In fact, call me and I’ll help you. Anything for a girl on a cheater-hating rampage.
A blogger from the UK named Samantha sounds like she shares my sentiments. The 28-year-old woman posted an ad on eBay that she was selling her wedding dress to help pay for the divorce after she found out her husband was cheating on her. The ad comes with a few choice phrases, including a description that notes the dress is in “great condition but needs dry cleaning before wearing to get rid of the stench of betrayal.” I hope her soon-to-be-ex-husband felt that burn. She went on to continue her sarcasm rampage with a statement that if someone wants “a dress that is full of bad memories and shattered hopes and dreams, then this is the one for you!” I don’t know how she’s even selling it. I would’ve already set that thing on fire.
- Image via Ebay
- Image via Ebay
Well, you go, girl. He never deserved you, and I hope getting rid of that dress provides some closure. Actually, it’s a really pretty dress. If it wasn’t almost certainly cursed I’d consider putting a bid in. If you need help with any other parts of your revenge plot, let a sister know..
Image via Shutterstock