Women Are Going Batshit Crazy Over This “Handsome” Gorilla, Don’t Seem To Notice That He’s Not A Human


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Women Are Going Batshit Crazy Over This

There are a lot of weird trends when it comes to dating and sex these days. Married couples are swinging, titty fucking is on every guy’s bucket list, and “eating the booty like groceries” is apparently a thing. Despite all this, I was really hoping that beastiality would continue to be frowned upon by the general population. Apparently, that expectation was in vain.

Hoards of women are heading to a Japanese zoo, just to see a famously “handsome” gorilla. His name is Shabani, he’s eighteen years old, and no one is paying attention to the fact that he is, in fact, a wild animal. They’re calling him “Ikemen,” which loosely translates to “hot young guy,” or “what the fuck is happening here” to those of us who appreciate the sanctity of genuine, human men.

People think that the gorilla is aware of the fact that he’s so popular, because he seems to strike a pose and gaze directly into cameras.

Okay. Sure. I will admit that there was a time I had a crush on Kovu from “The Lion King 2,” because I was a child and I didn’t seem to register that he was a lion. But that’s because I was a kid. These are grown ass women going crazy over this gorilla. There’s just no excuse. Shibani is definitely a beautiful animal, but no one, and I mean no one, should be crushing on an ape.

I’m guessing the guy-to-girl ratio in Japan is really off or something, because otherwise, this craze is completely unwarranted and really icky. Beastiality is not cool, people. I’m upset that I even have to say that.

[via Daily Mail]

Image via Shutterstock

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at lucy@grandex.co.

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