There is nothing worse than shacking. It may have seemed like a great idea the night before — but so did treating the ice luge as a Slip ‘N Slide and playing “who can steal the biggest memento from a fraternity house” and running out the front door with a microwave. Sure, you might get a shacker shirt out of the deal, but those are usually reserved for the #buttstuff girls. The rest of us get nothing more than a few courtesy kisses and a “thanks for the blow job!” high five as we leave in the morning.
And now it’s backed by science. Researchers at Brown University studied the brains of young, healthy individuals (i.e. us) to see what happens when they sleep somewhere new for the first time.
What happened was that the left side of the brain showed more wakefulness than it did when the person was sleeping somewhere familiar. The researchers concluded that this is a way for our brain to subconsciously stay on “night watch” for any potential danger (you know, in case your beau tries to kill you with his penis).
“The environment is so new to us, we might need a surveillance system so we can monitor the surroundings and we can detect anything unusual,” says Masako Tamaki, one of the authors of the study and research associate at the Laboratory for Cognitive and Perceptual Learning at Brown University. We’re most vulnerable when we’re asleep, in other words, and by staying partially awake, our brains might be trying to protect us.
So basically, what these researchers are telling us is that contrary to our drunken alter ego’s consistently positive life choices, going home really is the best option. Even if it’s late, even if he’s cute, and even if he’s making chicken nuggets for you. .