For a vast majority of sorority women, their bigs are the biggest (ha, get it?) influences during their college careers. They tell you which frats throw the best bangers, how to navigate a successful balance of schoolwork and partying, and the best shortcuts to take to that 8 a.m. class you probably won’t attend all semester. Bigs, moms, whatever you want to call them, are one of the greatest parts of joining a chapter.
But you know who doesn’t get enough recognition? Our bigs’ boyfriends.
Take, for example, my big’s boyfriend. I didn’t officially meet him until the beginning of my sophomore year, but when we finally did meet, I knew that a crazy friendship would be born from it. My BBF (Big’s BoyFriend) has taught me so many things, some things that even my big couldn’t teach me.
He trained me to take the perfect shot. He spent probably a solid hour, almost two, showing me how to toss it back like a professional. Let’s be honest, I practically yak my brains out every time I catch a glimpse of UV Blue or Peach Burnett’s. And he knew that, but he still pushed me to rise above that insecurity and fight to be a champ.
Not only that but being a guy, he could spot a sleazeball from a mile away. My BBF always had my back when it came to guys, and knew which guys in his frat I should avoid. He never dad-ed me but looked out for me as if he was one. He listened when I bitched about one of his frat brothers ghosting me, and even took the time to tell his brother that what he did was highkey shitty. He presented a perspective that my big was not able to see, an advantage that aided me most during times when I would drunkenly text his frat brothers asking for attention. And nights when I was too wasted to go home, or none of his pledges were available to give me a ride, he never hesitated to offer his couch to me for the night.
Best of all, my BBF actually calls me by my name. Don’t get me wrong, being known as “The Little” among his frat brothers was cool, and even endearing. I take great pride in who my big is, and I am always beyond flattered when his friends referenced me as such. However, sometimes it is nice to not be known by an association word, but rather as just “Ashley.” And he respected that.
I honestly think that when I joined a sorority, I was not only blessed with an amazing “mom” but also a pretty outstanding “dad.” And I definitely think that it is worthwhile to get to know your big’s SO because he might just become part of the best years of your life. Not only do they probably know how to party until the sun comes up, but they also know things about things, and could probably teach you a lot of valuable life lessons. Whether it’s partying, relationship advice, or “real world” knowledge, his perspective is one of the best, whether you realize it or not..
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