Your Boyfriend Shouldn’t Be Your Best Friend


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There are varying degrees of importance for friends. You have acquaintances; these are the people who you see on a semi-regular basis and talk to mostly because it would be considered rude if you didn’t. You are nice to them, but you aren’t going to invite to your pregame. One step up from there is the quasi-friends. Those are the friends of your friends. You play nice with them, not because you like them, but because you will definitely see them again. Then you have friends, and finally, you have your best friend.

“Best friend” is the most important title you can receive from someone. I would say it rivals spouse. It should not be taken lightly, because I’m not talking about the girl who you went out with three nights in a row. She isn’t your best friend. A real best friend is the person who you never want to not have in your life. A real best friend is your platonic life partner.

Whoever you chose to bestow this amazing role is a very special person. You are picking your person, right hand, go to. A best friend gets you in a unique way. They know you have to wallow, but they can tell when it’s time to cut the shit and get off your ass. They believe in all of your dreams and your potential within limit. It’s a realistic, unwavering support. You can tell them anything, you can do anything with them. There are no boundaries between the two of you. Once you found someone who gets you in the way only a best friend can, you never want to let them go.

Which is why your best friend should never be your boyfriend.

Men don’t get us. They have never, and they never will. I hear my male friends complaining about how girls are “so fucking confusing” all the time. “She’s up, she’s down, she’s left, she’s right. I don’t get it!” They whine, day in and day out. Maybe we are all over the map. Maybe we are constantly switching our stances on things because we love to confuse to guys. Or maybe it’s because women are amazing creatures with unique and complex personalities. Who knows?

Your boyfriend doesn’t understand why you need to drink half a bottle of white wine and watch military homecomings until you cry after a long day of work. He doesn’t get that you just need to lie down in the dark for forty minutes, dance as badly as possible to horrible pop music and hate stalk the girl you work with because her life is just so damn perfect. If he doesn’t understand that, how is he going to be able to help you when you need someone to do something, but aren’t quite sure what?

Forget asking for advice, either. You aren’t going to be able to get an honest, unbiased opinion from someone who has been inside of you. Your boyfriend doesn’t want to hurt you, and isn’t going to lay down the real, harsh truth when you need it. Your boyfriend isn’t going to tell you that you can’t pull off bangs or your romper makes you look like a drowned raccoon sitting in a wet trash bag. He also isn’t going to be impartial when you need to decide whether or not it’s worth it to take an internship that would be great for your career, but would keep you apart for four months.

Most importantly, what happens when the inevitable comes and you fight, or worse, break up? Who do you turn to if the one person who is supposed to understand you and love you on the deepest level is also the person who can’t stand to look at? It’s hard to get over someone when all you want to do is watch the notebook and cry to someone but your big group of friends is going bar hopping.

Going from being friends to dating someone is a healthy step to take in a relationship, but once you’ve had someone inside of you, things are different. You are willing to disregard the flaws of someone you are physically attracted to, and they are willing to ignore your flaws. A best friend doesn’t just ignore the things that are wrong with you; they accept them and push you to become the best version of yourself in spite of them.

Here’s to best friends making you the best version of yourself, and boyfriend making you come.

Everything you want in a sister, sorority or biological - funny, hardworking, pretty but not in an super obvious way. Essentially, a funnier Elle Woods who is constantly having a bad hair day. Questions, concerns, videos of dogs and coupons for Thai food can be sent to

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