Your Sorority’s Symbols If It Were Founded In 2015


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Your Sorority's Symbols If It Were Founded In 2015

As we all know every sorority is attributed with its own set of symbols, be them flowers, gems, special items, or animal mascots. Clearly these are dear to our hearts as they give us something to source cutesy puns from, they give dud PNMs something to awkwardly fixate on in conversation, and they serve as gentle white noise to nod off to during ceremonial events. From the residual traces I’ve picked up during formally attired lullabies, it’s all very inspiring. In homage, allow me to present the official lineup of most important symbols for modern sorority girls.

Ray Ban Aviators
Protector of thy dignity and defender against premature crows feet
Though we may be different-
Brown ombré, classic black, or of mirrored luster,
We have much in common
Reminder of preciousness nature of time
As they meet an untimely fate
Roughly with each semester
(or beach trip)
(or Gameday)

Dry Shampoo
Qualities most admirable
That of beauty, perseverance, and steadfast resistance to FOMO
A faithful friend
And servant to the greater good
For not making everyone else super fucking late
You’re all welcome

Ambitious nature of the Lilly Planner
Yet bonding abilities of the Moscato
Adorned with the most splendid of Emojis
May your sisterhood be stronger than a lifeproof
And less prone to drunken damage
Or abandonment in Ubers
Now go like my Insta
I want to hit 200

Craft Box
Pure love symbolized
By countless glue gun charred fingers
Give freely to one another
Paddles, paintings, and pin boxes
And in equal measure
Recognize value in the ability
To dress up as a sexy farm animal
Shall the theme dub it necessary

Only the fairest have been chosen
To undermine the “pants mandate”
And don the final symbol
Representative of the unbreakable bond
Between sorority girls alike
Of a lifestyle choice that says
“I do not have a real job
I do not need approval of outsiders
These match all of my frat tees
Most likely I am hungover”


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