You’re A Bitch If You Send A Sister To Standards


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Let me begin by saying that I do not condone underage drinking, and I don’t think it’s okay to break the law. However, speeding is illegal and everyone does it. I would be a hypocrite to persecute any underage person who drinks, because I did it too. We’ve all done it. We’re in college. I’m not saying that’s a good excuse, but what’s your excuse for going five or ten over the limit? Nonetheless, my point is that it’s not okay to send a sister to standards for underage drinking unless you’re a goddamn saint who has never had a sip of alcohol before the age of 21.

Let me explain.

It’s one thing if a sister chugs three cups of tea, washes it down with a few Busch Copper Lagers, throws up on the floor of the fraternity’s kitchen, and has to be carried home by the fraternity president (not that I’m speaking out of experience). But I don’t think it’s terrible for a sister who’s not 21 yet to enjoy a glass of wine after a stressful week or have a mixed drink in celebration of Greek Week. Now if she starts drinking Natty mixed with Mio and dances on the beer pong table (again, not speaking out of experience), it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tell her to go home. If she becomes belligerent, refuses to leave the fraternity house, and spits in the fraternity president’s face (this really wasn’t me this time but I watched it happen), then maybe consider sending her to standards. But standards should always be the last resort. Sending someone to standards just for underage drinking is simply petty. No excuses. You might as well send the entire freshman class to standards, and nobody has time to slap 93 wrists.

But what if that sister is a member of the executive board?

Same rules apply. You better be standards’ wet dream to have the audacity to send a sister, and worse, an exec member to standards for underage drinking.

But what if you are on exec too?

This is tricky. I have been on exec. I know what it’s like. You are constantly walking the line of being a sister and being a disciplinarian. You are supposed to be a role model to the new members while hiding your flaws from the rowdy seniors who aren’t scared of you. They’re probably older than you and can drink legally now, so they no longer give a fuck. They don’t fear your “authority” and can see right through you.

Well, I am proud to say that I am now one of those seniors, and damn right I can see through your bones.

I understand that it is the obligation of executive board members to report an underage sister who is caught drinking. It’s not the precedent you want to set for the rest of the chapter, and you are only following the rules after all. The thing is, you better be fucking perfect to report someone for underage drinking, even if it’s a fellow officer. You better have not done the same thing, either recently or prior to your term. Let me spell it out for you: it is so hypocritical to turn someone in for doing something that you have definitely done before, and probably still do. Because no matter how hard you try to hide it, we all know. I understand that you have to uphold higher standards now that you are an officer, but that doesn’t make you any less of a hypocrite. Or a bitch.

Standards exists for the sole purpose of keeping in check the safety of our sisters, not to be used as a tool for blackmail or to further your political agenda at the expense of others. Standards exists to ensure a safe and healthy sisterhood, but keep in mind that if it wasn’t for the sisterhood in the first place, there would be no policy to be had — not the other way around.

The lesson here is when given a choice to be a friend (hold your sisters accountable for their drinking) or foe (send them to standards because you’re an insecure little twat), always choose to be a friend. If you’re on exec, always choose to be a sister first. If a sister has been hospitalized three times in one month and doesn’t understand that she’s a PR risk, then maybe hit up standards.

Choose wisely.


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