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You’re Only As Cool As The Guy You’re Fucking

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Higher education presents a world of opportunities that you all should count yourselves lucky to be a part of. You can party your ass off at the nearest bar, and still have time to learn all that stupid chemistry shit. You can spend hours meeting new people in the basement of your soon-to-be favorite fraternity, and then wake up hungover as fuck, ready to contribute to your sorority’s philanthropy. College is a great time to discover yourself, as well as the body of the kid who lives in the fraternity next door.

Despite the limitless opportunities, all of us at one point or another dip our toes into the waters of a boy who is a solid three pegs below us on the social scale. Whether he’s a six out of ten or a decent-looking dude who just has a terrible personality, it’s just inevitable that almost every girl will fuck around with someone who isn’t quite on her level.

Why do we do it? Who knows. It’s possible that you enjoy the attention that comes with a guy who normally wouldn’t be able to land a dime such as yourself, and therefore reminds you on a daily basis how flawless you are. Or maybe you’re one of those fixer upper types, and you think it’s possible to transform your boo into a more likable fuckable person.

Either way, one thing is for damn sure: when you’re messing around with a guy who isn’t on your level, you’re probably trying to keep it on the down low. Which is why I’m here to remind you that whether or not you like it, you’re only as cool as he is.

For starters, when you let a guy consistently bone you, it’s because you like him. You can lie all day long about how you just want the hook up and it’s nothing serious, but you’re still a living, breathing female. You’re obviously into the kid if you let him see you naked on a semi-regular basis, and in turn stick around long enough to see his flaccid dick in the morning.

Furthermore, if a guy has you, he has you. You caved. He won. He done got you, sister. You let him see you in a way that few(ish) other men have seen you, despite the fact that you probably know fifteen guys who would answer your booty call in a heartbeat. He beat out all the other dudes clawing to get in your pants because on some level, you are just as dorky or ugly or weird as he is.

This isn’t a jab at you. It isn’t even a jab at him. Take these words and think on them, because deep down in your heart, you know it’s true. You know you love the way his glasses fog up when he sneezes. You know you think it’s adorable that he can’t walk ten feet without opening Pokemon Go and catching ‘em all. You know you’re dying to introduce him to your family, even though they’ll think you’re capable of so much more. You know you want him to be your formal date, because you don’t care about your social status enough to miss out on such a fun opportunity with your pal.

You know all of this because even though you believe yourself to be a hotter, cooler slam than he deserves, the truth is that you both are probably on the same level–somewhere in between the ten you think you are, and the six he thinks he is. My advice would be to just go for it. Put aside all your reservations and give the kid a chance– even if he only made his fraternity because he’s a double legacy. Fuck all the haters and friends who will tell you “You can do better,” because even though you probably could, you’d miss that awkward son of a bitch. Let yourself have fun with the kid who makes you happy. At the end of the day, you’re only as cool as the guy you’re fucking.

This featured image is a stock photo from our database. The people photographed are not in any way associated with the story.

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at lucy@grandex.co.

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