I think I’m a fun time but standards doesn’t think so. TSM.

Why can’t we just use our dues for booze? TSM.

When they say they only have beer, but you know they’ll magically “find” vodka for you in ten minutes. TSM.

I don’t “overpack.” I’m just prepared for anything, including any and all theme parties. TSM.

*Replaces feelings with new clothes.* TSM.

Getting drunk for the sole purpose of texting a guy. TSM.