Sometimes, I think I should go easy on Taylor Swift. I mean, poor Taylor, with her rat face, and her inability to keep a boyfriend. And then, I have a bad day, and I stumble upon some of her idiotic quotes, and I remember…she deserves it:
1. “Fans are my favorite thing in the world. I’ve never been the type of artist who has that line drawn between their friends and their fans. The line’s always been really blurred for me. I’ll hang out with them after the show. I’ll hang out with them before the show. If I see them in the mall, I’ll stand there and talk to them for 10 minutes.”
Translation: I have no friends of my own, so it’s really exciting for me when I get to sporadically chat with 13 year old girls!
2. “All you need to do to be my friend is like me.”
Translation: I’m so desperate for friends that I can’t be picky. At all.
3. “I wish all teenagers could filter through songs instead of turning to drugs and alcohol.”
Translation: I may have never had a good time in my life, but I can judge others who have.
4. “Most of the time, songs I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less.”
Well, that’s because you’ve essentially written the same song over and over again. You’ve just changed the specifics to fit whichever boy broke up with you most recently.
5. “If you’re horrible to me I am going to write a song about you and you are not going to like it. That’s how I operate.”
We’re not going to like the song? No way. Nobody likes your songs.
6. “I’m like 6’2” when I wear heels, so I tend to wear cowboy boots a lot.”
Well the heels seemed to be working for Ru Paul. Trannies should stick together!
7. “No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Because being nice is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.”
Unless you’re trashing people in a song, right? Does that not count? Hypocrite.
8. “I was the girl who didn’t get invited to parties.”
I think it’s time for some serious self-reflection. You don’t have friends, you don’t get invited anywhere. You suck. We get it.
9. If you’re the girl that needs a boyfriend, and once she loses that boyfriend needs to replace it with a different boyfriend, it’s just this constant stream of boyfriends all the time. I don’t feel like I ever want to be that girl.
Wait, I’m sorry…what?
10. “I don’t drink to get drunk. That’s just not cute.”
Well you should try it. Who knows? It might give you a personality!