13 Logical Times To Skip The Gym

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Nice Move

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Working out is good for you. It releases endorphins, it is some stress relief when you feel like your life is about to explode, and it can make you feel much better about your calorie intake that week, but there are some times where you just can’t seem to make it to the gym. These are the times when it is okay to skip the gym.

1. It’s too hot outside.
It’s unbearable to go to the gym when it’s 85 degrees outside. I know the whole point of working out is to sweat, but when your gym doesn’t have air conditioning, the sweat you build up just by walking in the door can be enough for the day. You want to work out, not die. You can’t work out in the heat because it is currently the leading cause of deaths of (lazy) people.

2. It’s too cold outside.
I have to put on six layers of clothes just to get into the car. Then I get to the gym and have to take all those layers off. It just seems highly unnecessary to me. And if there’s snow or if it’s raining, forget about it. You walk into the gym and your feet are already soaking wet. You can’t run with soaking wet feet. It’s science.

3. You don’t have time.
I do have an hour of time where I can work out. I DON’T, however, have ten minutes to drive there, five minutes to get all situated, an hour to work out, ten minutes to drive back home, and 45 minutes to shower and reapply makeup. By this time you are going on a three-hour gym break and who really has time for that?

4. You’re on your period.
I can’t even get out of bed when I’m on my period without wanting to die. I can’t stand up, so how ever shall I run? No one wants to be “that girl” who rides on the bicycle for ten minutes and calls it a day. Shit’s embarrassing.

5. You don’t know what to do.
I can’t look up workouts because I’m too busy looking up workout clothes. I don’t know what tones your body, what builds muscle, and what sheds weight, and I’m pretty sure if you tried to explain it to me, the subject matter would bore me so much that it would go in one ear and right out the other, so why bother?

6. You ran out of gas.
If there is one thing you took away from college, it was learning how long you could drive on empty before being stranded. Your tank has been on empty for 48 hours, meaning you know that in approximately one hour you will be forced to get gas or you will be running everywhere like Forest Gump. You can’t go to the gym if you don’t have enough gas to get to the gym.

7. You haven’t eaten.
You cannot go to the gym on an empty stomach, and the yogurt you ate this morning for breakfast does not count. If you exert too much physical activity on an empty stomach you will get fatigued and might even faint. So skip the gym and make yourself a panini.

8. You haven’t made a workout playlist.
Playlists get you hyped, and without the bomb playlist, you are not hyped. I cannot even think about running three miles when I’m not hyped on some old school Chingy or Ying Yang Twins. Your life is far too busy to make this playlist, and you could use your “party” playlist that you insist on playing overtime you go to a party, but then when you did listen to it at parties you would just start running around like a hamster on a wheel having PTSD of all the tragic hours you’ve spent at the gym.

9. You forgot your headphones.
This goes hand-in-hand with the playlists. No music. No energy. No running. It’s as simple as that.

10. You have to let your dog out.
You can’t just let your dog go to the bathroom all over your apartment. And the dog always takes his sweet time. You can’t rush these things, you know. What if someone was rushing you out of the bathroom when you weren’t finished? Not a good situation. You can’t neglect your child. I mean your dog.

11. Netflix has consumed you.
It’s like quicksand with no warning. You think “oh I’ll just watch one episode” and next thing you know you’ve finished season eight in 36 hours, missed a day of work, and can’t remember the last time you showered or put on actual pants. You are entranced. It’s like being hypnotized. You can’t work out when you’re hypnotized.

12. You actually got hypnotized.
You’re not in your right mind. How can you run on the treadmill when someone else is controlling your brain? That’s right, you can’t.

13. You got struck by lightning.
Wrong place, wrong time, am I right? The odds were so slim, but there you were holding your umbrella one second, and the next second you are convulsing on the ground. You can’t help it that this strike of fate happened to fall as you were on your way to the gym.

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