18 Thoughts Running Through Your Head While Getting A Brazilian Wax


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18 Thoughts Running Through Your Head While Getting A Brazilian Wax

After your hacked up shave job left your lady area with one too many cuts and way more razor burn than you can handle, you’ve decided to get a Brazilian wax. The following are the emotional stages and feels that you’re likely to encounter throughout the waxing journey:

  1. I am sooo excited to get a wax! I will be a Brazilian goddess! My best friend Abby got one and she absolutely loved it! No shaving for weeks!
  2. Wait. Exactly how long do I have to grow all of this out for? No swimsuits or lacey underwear for me, I guess.
  3. Should I bring a friend along? Like, for moral support? I’ll need someone to hold my hand, won’t I?
  4. Exactly how badly is this going to hurt? Maybe I’ll tweeze a pube just to get an idea of the pain level. HOLY SHIT, OW, NEVER MIND.
  5. Okay, I’m walking in. I’m doing this. I’m a mature adult woman who is about to have the downstairs area of a child and I have never been more ready.
  6. The music is reminiscent of an elevator and all of these Brazilian women are freakishly smiley.
  7. Alright. Here we go. Pants OFF. Not awkward, not awkward. Entering spread eagle position. Here we gooooo.
  8. Why is there baby powder all over me? Why are these lights so bright? Exactly how much more hot wax are you going to smear onto my naked body? This feels like a one night stand gone horribly wrong.
  10. You can stop now, really. I kind of like just having one patch missing anyway. I’ll just shave the rest I swear!!
  11. Why is this taking so long? How much do I have down there? Is there something I don’t know about?
  12. Why am I sweating so much? And when did I develop this nervous laughter? I’m channeling all of my tears into laughter and I’m profusely sweating. Help.
  13. Oh good, we’re done right? Wait, no? Why do you want me to move into doggy style?? Wait there’s hair back there?!
  14. And so the horror continues.
  15. Oh okay, NOW it’s over. You just have to “clean it up.” Now I can relax.
  16. WHAT??? “Cleaning it up” involves more waxing? I was positive you were just going to rub some soapy water on there.
  17. Um, well, thank you for that. Yeah, I actually am kind of sore. I think there also might be a little bit of dried wax down there.
  18. That was like a really bad date that I had to pay for. Maybe I’ll just stick to shaving.


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