1. Not having boobs means not having to wear a bra. Seriously, no one will ever know. It’s glorious.
2. If your bathing suit falls off in the ocean, it won’t cause a scene. Literally everyone will just be like “Look at that cute little boy with the long hair! He’s adorable.” No embarrassment. Well…maybe a little.
3. You’ve likely had to make up for your lack of cleavage with something else. Maybe you have great hair, maybe you’re really talented at doing your makeup, or maybe you’re super flexible. Whatever it is, it’s awesome. Good for you, you over-compensator.
4. You never have to go up a shirt size because of your boobs. That counts for a lot.
5. Bandeaus are your friend. This is a win.
6. The right bra, well placed bronzer, and a good pair of chicken cutlets have turned you into Houdini. Now you don’t see them? Now you do.
7. Back pain? You don’t have it.
8. It’s likely that you have a great ass because things have to even out somehow.
9. You will never, ever, ever have to worry about sagging. Ever.
10. Running isn’t painful. Neither is walking. Or even standing for that matter. Your life is smooth sailing. Literally. You have no bumps.
11. You’re a member of the prestigious IBTC, whose members proudly include Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz, Emma Watson, and Justin Bieber.
12. You know what’s pretty about old lady boobs? Nothing. Thankfully, yours will look like a teeny bopper’s forever.
13. Sports bras don’t feel like a straight jacket. In all seriousness, you could probably run a marathon without one and be perfectly fine.
14. Reductions sound painful. And also expensive. Lucky for you, you can spend those pennies on wine, not surgery.
15. Backless tops are never an issue, and you don’t even have to mess with sticky tape! Praise the Lord.
16. You don’t spend a lot of money on undergarments. Training bras are like $7.
17. You’ve never been like “Oh man, my boobs are really painful right now.” You know why? Because you don’t have any.
18. Low cut shirts don’t look slutty on you. Actually, no shirts look slutty on you. Come to think of it, you don’t even look slutty naked.
19. Sleeping on your stomach is a non-issue. You’re like a little baby.
20. You know he’s not just hitting on you because of your boobs. Like, that is 100% a fact.
21. You get to play tricks on boys using Victoria’s Secret.