21 Reasons Why Tailgating Is Actually The Worst


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Yup, you read that title correctly. I sincerely do not enjoy tailgating. I know this is probably inciting an angry mob, sharpening their pitchforks ready to attack, but it’s time I said it.

I’m tired of hiding into the crowd pretending I enjoy the holy Game Day ritual, but I can’t do it anymore. You know what? I don’t think I’m alone in this. It’s time the Tailgate Haters Anonymous come out of hiding, and end the tailgate hating shame.

  1. You spend forever getting ready just to sweat it all off.
  2. Or freeze your butt off.
  3. Or have an explosion of beer/champagne showered on you.
  4. Which ruins your hair.
  5. And leaves you sticky.
  6. And smelly.
  7. If you don’t like beer, you’re SOL.
  8. Because no one likes the person who turns down shotgunning.
  9. Porta. Potties.
  10. You’re supposed to know things about football.
  11. You’re too drunk.
  12. Or not drunk enough.
  13. The shame and horror of public puking.
  14. Or public sloppy make outs.
  15. Just generally sloppiness.
  16. The impending all day drinking hangover.
  17. Boots = blisters.
  18. The overall stench of sweat and body odor.
  19. Just when you’re ready to pass out, you’re expected to sit through the game.
  20. Or *shudders* stand.
  21. When all you really want to do is watch the game from your couch at home.


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