I’mma letchu finish, but I just had the best summer internship of all time. While all of you scrubs were observing surgeries and working in nonprofit organizations, I was in Austin, Texas writing dick jokes, tweeting my ass off, and working with literally the coolest people I have ever met. The two months I had here went by so quickly, and I am so incredibly thankful for this opportunity. Not only did I better myself as a writer, but the people I have surrounded with here have taught me so many lessons, and I felt they needed to be shared.
- It doesn’t matter what you look like.
It only matters what you look like on social media.
- Work hard, play harder.
Or just get a job where you can play all the time.
- Be careful what you put on the internet, people will believe anything.
Like, seriously, anything.
- Happy hour shouldn’t be limited to one hour.
It should be at least three, especially when you start talking about porn.
- Boys will be boys.
And they will put a ping pong table in the office and have fights over it.
- Humor over looks.
Unless you have both. *collective hair flip*
- Don’t be afraid to try something new.
Like talking on your Snapchat story. Scary at first, but you get used to it.
- Go with the flow.
If your plans change literally when you show up to the original sight, take a breath and check the group chat.
- Everyone makes mistakes.
And everyone shows up to work hungover and pukes at least once. It happens.
- Sing like no one is listening.
Except they totally are because you are on stage at a karaoke bar.
- Always be prepared.
Bring a full bag of makeup with you AT. ALL. TIMES.
- You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
*obvious alcohol joke*
- Do everything with confidence.
Don’t delete that tweet, it’s funny. People are just too dumb to get it.
- Fake it until you make it.
Especially when it comes to makeup. Boys don’t know what you *really* look like until you’ve fully trapped them.
- Nines and dimes only.
S/O Aimee Pham from advertising for that nugget of gold.
- Follow your heart.
And if your heart is following that guy you just met back to his place, so be it.
- Time heals all.
Including heartbreaks and hangovers.
- Stay up to date on the news.
You never know when a celebrity Twitter fight will break out.
- The early bird gets the worm.
But the late one always looks better.
- You can’t learn to swim without getting in the water.
But don’t go under, it’ll mess up your hair.
- Laugh through the pain.
If you joke about it, it doesn’t hurt anymore, right? Right?!
- It doesn’t matter where you’re from, it matters where you are going.
Unless you are from NJ, in which case you get made fun of for how you talk.
- Growing up is optional.
Just because you graduated college doesn’t mean you have to stop being absolutely reckless.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
And I am beholding an extremely Facetuned picture. Do better.
- This too shall pass.
- You deserve the best.
Especially when it comes to guys.
- Be yourself.
Your neurotic, loud, goofy, messy self..