27 Life Lessons I Learned Working At TSM


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This Girl Lost Her TSM Coozie In A Wild Night -- Should We Send Her A New One?

I’mma letchu finish, but I just had the best summer internship of all time. While all of you scrubs were observing surgeries and working in nonprofit organizations, I was in Austin, Texas writing dick jokes, tweeting my ass off, and working with literally the coolest people I have ever met. The two months I had here went by so quickly, and I am so incredibly thankful for this opportunity. Not only did I better myself as a writer, but the people I have surrounded with here have taught me so many lessons, and I felt they needed to be shared.

  1. It doesn’t matter what you look like.
    It only matters what you look like on social media.
  2. Work hard, play harder.
    Or just get a job where you can play all the time.
  3. Be careful what you put on the internet, people will believe anything.
    Like, seriously, anything.
  4. Happy hour shouldn’t be limited to one hour.
    It should be at least three, especially when you start talking about porn.
  5. Boys will be boys.
    And they will put a ping pong table in the office and have fights over it.
  6. Humor over looks.
    Unless you have both. *collective hair flip*
  7. Don’t be afraid to try something new.
    Like talking on your Snapchat story. Scary at first, but you get used to it.
  8. Go with the flow.
    If your plans change literally when you show up to the original sight, take a breath and check the group chat.
  9. Everyone makes mistakes.
    And everyone shows up to work hungover and pukes at least once. It happens.
  10. Sing like no one is listening.
    Except they totally are because you are on stage at a karaoke bar.
  11. Always be prepared.
    Bring a full bag of makeup with you AT. ALL. TIMES.
  12. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
    *obvious alcohol joke*
  13. Do everything with confidence.
    Don’t delete that tweet, it’s funny. People are just too dumb to get it.
  14. Fake it until you make it.
    Especially when it comes to makeup. Boys don’t know what you *really* look like until you’ve fully trapped them.
  15. Nines and dimes only.
    S/O Aimee Pham from advertising for that nugget of gold.
  16. Follow your heart.
    And if your heart is following that guy you just met back to his place, so be it.
  17. Time heals all.
    Including heartbreaks and hangovers.
  18. Stay up to date on the news.
    You never know when a celebrity Twitter fight will break out.
  19. The early bird gets the worm.
    But the late one always looks better.
  20. You can’t learn to swim without getting in the water.
    But don’t go under, it’ll mess up your hair.
  21. Laugh through the pain.
    If you joke about it, it doesn’t hurt anymore, right? Right?!
  22. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, it matters where you are going.
    Unless you are from NJ, in which case you get made fun of for how you talk.
  23. Growing up is optional.
    Just because you graduated college doesn’t mean you have to stop being absolutely reckless.
  24. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
    And I am beholding an extremely Facetuned picture. Do better.
  25. This too shall pass.
    Even HPV.
  26. You deserve the best.
    Especially when it comes to guys.
  27. Be yourself.
    Your neurotic, loud, goofy, messy self.
A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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