33 Signs You Are The Chapter’s Biggest Liability


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Nice Move


It’s hard being perfect, especially if you are prone to imperfections. You are like a bull in a china shop. More specifically, a Red Bull. Trouble follows you wherever you go, and whatever mess you make, it only gets messier when you try to fix it. You are the conductor of the hot mess express, and your whole chapter is aboard. Everyone has to take extra precautions to make sure you don’t run it straight into the ground.

  1. You are given specific instructions during recruitment.
  2. Like do NOT mention anything about your social life.
  3. Or class life.
  4. Or love life.
  5. Actually, just don’t show up at all.
  6. You are best friends with standards.
  7. Only because you spend so much time with her.
  8. You are forced you have all of your social media on private.
  9. But you are still constantly asked to take pictures down.
  10. Two words: Rush. Boobs.
  11. Two more words: Boob. Luge.
  12. Your friends have to volunteer to sober nights out with you to keep an eye on you.
  13. But you are the first to volunteer to sober formal.
  14. Because you know that’s the only way you’d make it to the venue.
  15. People compare any bad situation to you.
  16. “Yeah that’s bad, but it’ll never be as bad as *your name*’s winter formal when she tried to pee in the sink and it broke off the wall while she was sitting on it.”
  17. Stories about you will be passed down for generations.
  18. “Four years ago, *your name* got the TSA called on her on our way to spring break because she had bags of sea salt that they thought were drugs. To this day, no one has any idea why she even had those.”
  19. You are given a time 90 minutes before you are supposed to be at mandatory events so you actually show up on time.
  20. Campus police knows you by name.
  21. The dean knows you by name.
  22. Nationals knows you by name.
  23. And when Nationals comes to visit, you are never left alone with them.
  24. You’ve gotten really good at talking your way out of messy situations.
  25. But you’re even better at talking you way into them.
  26. All of your friends are Charlottes to balance out your Samantha.
  27. Boyfriends of your sisters get nervous when you hang out with their girlfriends.
  28. Sisters get nervous when you are even within 30 feet of their boyfriends.
  29. You’re not allowed to joke about being drunk or high at philanthropy events.
  30. Even though you probably are.
  31. You are a fire sign.
  32. You believe in astrology.
  33. You write for Total Sorority Move.
A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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