37 Reasons You’re Actually A Grandma


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  1. You have an obsession with baking.
  2. You brag to everyone else about your grandlittles, great grandlittles, etc.
  3. Even after you graduate.
  4. You send the aforementioned grandlittles care packages at school.
  5. Complete with baked goods, decorated cards, and stuffed animals.
  6. You craft more than Martha Stewart, because duh.
  7. And you may or may not have a scrapbook of your entire college experience.
  8. Your day wouldn’t be complete without a nap.
  9. You have a matching pajama set too.
  10. And some matching slippers.
  11. And maybe even a matching blanket, because you are always cold.
  12. Speaking of which, you may even know how to sew your own blanket.
  13. You eat dinner at 5 p.m.
  14. And are in bed by 10 p.m.
  15. Your wardrobe consists largely of sweaters and cardigans.
  16. You always wear leggings, and never real pants.
  17. But you would never think about working out, ever.
  18. Unless it’s yoga or a light swim.
  19. And by light swim, I mean tanning next to the pool. And yoga means stretching for the remote.
  20. You drink red wine, exclusively.
  21. And you treat yourself to fancy dinners for no reason.
  22. Because, YOLO, right?
  23. You’ve been known to get rowdy at family parties.
  24. But you can get away with it because everyone loves you.
  25. Which is also why you can say outrageous things.
  26. And get people to cater to your every need.
  27. You’ve considered buying anti-aging products before the age of 22.
  28. And if we are being completely honest, you use eye cream already.
  29. Because you swear you are getting laugh lines.
  30. You have a cat.
  31. Or two. Or three or four.
  32. You refuse to get an iPhone 6, a Venmo, or a Tinder.
  33. Mainly because you don’t know how to work any of them.
  34. And you don’t like putting your information online.
  35. Your friend group knows not to depend on you when you go out.
  36. Because even though you may be the matriarch, you still know how to party hard.
  37. After all, the best grandmas are the crazy grandmas.
PSLsandPearls has been shotgunning lattes and looking good since the mid 1990's. In her free time, she cuddles with any animal she can find and incessantly bitches about how busy she is. You can email her at PSLandPearlsTSM@gmail.com (note the single PSL).

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