- You’re not afraid to tell your friend that her foundation is too dark for her face.
That’s what friends are for, right?
- Or that her eyebrows need to be filled in.
Friends don’t let friends have shitty eyebrows.
- Or basically anything she needs to change about her makeup routine.
As your friend, it is my duty to tell you that if you’re going to contour, you need to learn how to BLEND.
- You’re constantly fielding texts from friends, acquaintances, and family about what products to buy.
I should be getting paid a commission for all of this free advice.
- Or what makeup trends they should be trying.
I love you, mom, but trust me when I tell you that you don’t need to start “strobing.”
- You feel a sense of pride when they take you up on a recommendation and text you saying how much they loooooove the new foundation you told them to buy.
I knew you would love it, but I’m glad you told me.
- You’ve been asked to accompany at least two different friends on a trip to Sephora to revamp their makeup routine.
Okay, we’ll start with a foundation and concealer and then move on to eye products. I hope you brought your credit card — you’re gonna need it.
- “No thanks, we don’t need any help,” – you to the Sephora associate.
I know more than you.
- You’re basically the in-house makeup artist during recruitment.
Some girls need more help than others.
- And formal.
Leave the glitter and black smokey eye at home, ladies.
- Your friends will sit and watch you do your makeup with a mesmerized look on their faces.
Just like you used to do with your mom.
- Your friends come over to get ready and spend the entire time just looking at your makeup collection.
It’s a tad bit excessive, I know.
- “What does this do?”
It prevents your concealer from creasing.
- “Do I need this?”
- “Why do you have so many palettes?”
Because I have an unhealthy obsession.
- “How many brushes do you have?!”
The limit does not exist.
- “They’re so soft.”
Please don’t rub the brushes all over your face, I just washed those.
- Your friend says she never washes her makeup brushes and a part of you died inside.
WASH YOUR DAMN BRUSHES. You’ll have less breakouts and your makeup will go on smoother.
- You showed your friends the magic of false eyelashes and now they’re never going back.
Welcome to the dark, fluffy, fluttery side.
- You do your friend’s makeup for a night out and literally can’t stop staring at your work.
People might think you’re into her, but you’re really just into her makeup. You killed it.
- And when someone compliments her, you can’t help but scream, “THANK YOU MY WORK IS FLAWLESS PLEASE TEXT ME FOR BOOKINGS.”
I know, I have a gift. STOP RUBBING YOUR EYE, KAITLYN, YOU’RE RUINING MY ART.
- You love when your friends ask you to do their makeup, but you have a few stipulations before you transform their face.
It’s for everyone’s benefit.
- Rule #1: They need to bring their own brushes, eyeliner, mascara, and foundation.
I’m not trying to catch pink eye after I use my mascara on you.
- Rule #2: They need to come at least an hour in advance with a clean and moisturized face.
Beauty takes time.
- Rule #3: They must pay you for your time/makeup supplies in alcohol.
A bottle or wine or vodka will do the trick.
- All of your friends think you should start a YouTube channel.
They think you could be the next Jaclyn Hill.
- And you’ve actually seriously considered it.
But you’d rather spend $500 on makeup, not camera equipment, so you’ll stick to doing makeup for yourself and your friends.
- You’re like your friend group’s version of a fairy godmother, but for makeup.
Bippity Boppity Boo, this eyeshadow would look perfect on you.
- Pulled an all-nighter last night? Here, use this concealer.
The orange tones cancel out the blue, FYI.
- Going on a date tonight? Trust me, you need this highlight.
Shine bright like a diamond.
- Going out with a full face of makeup when it’s 100 degrees outside? Let me spray your face with some Urban Decay All-Nighter Setting Spray.
- You helped all of your friends figure out their eye shapes and their eyeshadow game has never been better.
Sorry to break it to you, Sally, but you have hooded eyes.
- You also told them what undertone they are and helped them find the correct color of foundation.
It’s the secret to finding your perfect shade.
- You’ll be listening to a person talk and all you can think about is how you would fix their eyebrows.
Girl, you need to extend that tail out another two inches.
- Or their wing.
Too much. Waaaay too much. Pull back.
- Your friends know and expect you to be at least fifteen minutes late to everything because of your makeup.
Sorry, not sorry.
- There’s no greater feeling in the world than making all of your friends feel as gorgeous on the outside as they are on the inside.
With or without makeup, they’re still flawless.
It’s fun being the makeup friend. .