42 Things That Happen When You Go Home For The Weekend


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Nice Move

Visit home

  1.  Homemade food is being thrust upon you at all hours of the day.
  2. Clean clothes magically appear folded on your bed.
  3. Your bed that magically makes itself.
  4. All of your trophies from middle school are still proudly on display in your room.
  5. Because yes. You did come in third place in the spelling bee. Thank you so much for remembering.
  6. And the walls are still painted that aggressively bright pink you picked out.
  7. Unless your parents have already turn it into a walk-in closet/office/guest room combo.
  8. In which case, enjoy sleeping on that new futon.
  9. The fridge is almost as full as the DVR.
  10. You “accidentally” drive by your high school boyfriend’s house.
  11. “I was going this way anyway.”
  12. Four times.
  13. “I just wanted to see how his family is doing.”
  14. Your mom acts a little funny for a bit when she first sees your newest hairstyle/tattoo/piercing/act of rebellion.
  15. You get to catch up with that kid who worked at your favorite restaurant all through high school.
  16. He’s still working there.
  17. Those kids who were cocky freshmen in high school are now even cockier seniors.
  18. And some of them got hot.
  19. “Am I attracted to someone with braces right now?”
  20. And they can drive.
  21. Not well, but they have their licenses.
  22. Your parents have taken up new hobbies that they love to tell you about.
  23. “No, mom, I don’t need anything knitted, thank you.”
  24. New businesses look like they dropped out of the sky.
  25. Two randoms from your graduating class end up dating.
  26. And pregnant.
  27. And married.
  28. And divorced.
  29. “How does she take care of a baby when I live off of spoonfuls of peanut butter?”
  30. The water pressure in your shower is NOT the same as at school.
  31. You’d think paying six-digits would get you adequate water pressure.
  32. And you wouldn’t have to wear flip flops.
  33. You run out of ways to say “school is good.”
  34. You have to wear all the clothes you left at home because you didn’t want them at school.
  35. Which means an ill-fitting pair of yoga pants and an old field hockey shirt.
  36. You can’t go anywhere without knowing someone.
  37. Ugh, it’s that bitch I hated.
  38. She better not come over and talk to me.
  39. Oh no, here she comes.
  41. Damn it, she didn’t get as fat as I was hoping she would.
  42. You spend most of the time texting your school friends because even though there’s no place like home, that is where you belong.
A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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