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43 Reasons Why Being A Low Key Slut Is The Best

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There is nothing better on earth than being a low key slut. I don’t mean the kind of girl who is willing to sleep with anyone (but props to the girls who are), but the kind of girls who are selectively slutty. They are low key sluts won’t fuck just anyone, but the guys who they do? Those men should be fucking honored. After many years of practice, I’ve found that low key sluttiness may actually be the secret to reaching nirvana. Once word gets around that a girl is a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets, her life improves. Every girl wants you as her big, and every guy wants the chance to score with you. And that’s not all.

  1. Every guy you meet wants to date you.
  2. Literally, every single guy.
  3. You get invited to tons of formals.
  4. No one bats an eye if you decide to not make a cooler.
  5. You never have to worry about finding your own cab home after a party.
  6. Either the guy who is trying to sleep with you will offer to drive or he’ll make a pledge do it.
  7. No guy expects you to go down on him on the first date.
  8. Or the second date.
  9. Or even the third date.
  10. You can basically hold out on blowjobs for as long as you want.
  11. After all, the sex is gonna be amazing (once you get to that point).
  12. Leading guys on doesn’t make you a tease, it ups the ante.
  13. Everyone knows that great sex means you can be even crazier.
  14. Want him to never speak to his ex-girlfriend ever again, despite the fact that they work together? Done.
  15. Want him to watch reruns of “America’s Next Top Model” with you instead of the Superbowl with his friends? Done.
  16. Want him to disconnect with every female he has ever spoken to? He’ll do anything to get you into bed.
  17. You can make a guy do every single adorably basic thing you want.
  18. Dates to a pumpkin patch? Check.
  19. Stupidly cute Instagram photos? Check.
  20. Spend an afternoon at the art museum? Checkity check.
  21. For you, witholding sex is an even better bargaining chip.
  22. So you never have to worry about finding a date to your own formal.
  23. Or date party.
  24. Or anything.
  25. Need to sell tickets to your philanthropy event? Done and done.
  26. Two words: free drinks.
  27. And free food.
  28. New members keep coming to you for boy advice.
  29. Which can be annoying.
  30. But you secretly love it.
  31. Girls always ask you if their dress it too slutty.
  32. Because even though you don’t, people assume you know the perfect mix of classy and trashy.
  33. Even if you do end up looking like a total skank, people tell you how great you look.
  34. Your friends never make you hang out with their annoying boyfriends.
  35. But they always want to know what you would do in their situation.
  36. No one is afraid to tell you anything because even though you may not look like it, you’ve done it and more.
  37. Which means you hear all the best gossip.
  38. You never really have to worry about standards, because everything you do is on the DL.
  39. But you still have great stories.
  40. Which basically makes you HBIC of the chapter.
  41. Every new member wants you as her big.
  42. So you have your pick of littles.
  43. Essentially, you are “The Bachelor” and these girls are all waiting to be the love of your life.

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totalsistermove

Everything you want in a sister, sorority or biological - funny, hardworking, pretty but not in an super obvious way. Essentially, a funnier Elle Woods who is constantly having a bad hair day. Questions, concerns, videos of dogs and coupons for Thai food can be sent to totalsistermove@gmail.com

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