47 Confessions From A REAL Sorority Girl

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Nice Move

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1. I haven’t worn a bow in my hair since I was seven.

2. I wear Lilly Pulitzer, but I don’t like Jack Rogers so I don’t own a pair.

3. My dad doesn’t own a yacht.

4. Or a jet.

5. Or a Lamborghini.

6. He is not the CEO of a Fortune 500 Company.

7. My family doesn’t live on a plantation.

8. I actually studied at the library.

9. I didn’t pursue a MRS. degree.

10. Not using condoms is stupid. I use them. You should too.

11. I’ve never said “Bless your heart,” because I don’t believe in being passive aggressive. A simple “screw you” works much better.

12. I have a pearl necklace that my grandmother gave me, but I prefer to wear costume jewelry.

13. I don’t wear makeup at the gym.

14. I don’t even always wear makeup at work.

15. I’m currently rocking my natural hair color.

16. If the man in my life ever told me to “make him a sandwich,” I would find a new man.

17. I’m not always classy and I’d be willing to bet that you’re not either.

18. Slut shaming is stupid. I think that as a society we should stop doing it.

19.My father is “Dad,” not “Daddy.”

20. I’ve been wearing New Balance 993s my whole life, but it doesn’t bother me if the only reason you wear them now is because you’re Greek. They’re awesome tennis shoes.

21. I would consider myself a moderate Republican. Anything too extreme is dangerous.

22. Sometimes I simply refer to my sorority sisters as my friends. That’s okay.

23. I’ve bought my own drink at a bar.

24. I say “like,” and “whatever,” and “k,” and “literally” entirely too often, but there are worse habits to have.

25. I’ve been known to smoke on occasion. I know it’s bad, so there’s no need for you to shout it at me from across the street.

26. I volunteer because I want to, not because I have to.

27. Reading is one of my favorite pastimes; Netflix binges are pretty great, too.

28. I make bad decisions. Don’t judge me for mine and I won’t judge you for yours. Deal?

29. Sometimes I fly Coach.

30. I don’t own a Louis Vuitton bag.

31. I have really good friends outside of my sorority.

32. I don’t understand sports and I don’t pretend to.

33. My Sperrys haven’t been worn in about two years.

34. Seersucker is great if it’s worn in moderation.

35. Not everything I own is monogrammed.

36. I drive a foreign car.

37. I don’t have a house in Vail or a penthouse in Manhattan.

38. I think that a higher power blessed everyone, not just people in the south.

39. Confederate flags don’t offend me, but I respect that not everyone feels that way.

40. Marilyn Monroe is not my idol.

41. Neither is Jackie Kennedy.

42. I’m not a size zero.

43. I don’t have “daddy issues.”

44. I think women should be strong and independent.

45. Not everyone in my sorority looks the same.

46. I take photos without “throwing what I know.”

47. I didn’t get married after graduation. I got a job.

***

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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