47 Thoughts Every Girl Has While Shopping For A Formal Dress


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47 Thoughts Every Girl Has While Shopping For A Formal Dress

I have a love-hate relationship with formal season. I love getting dressed up, and I certainly love the idea of doing some old school grinding while surrounded by my friends. I just hate shopping. I don’t have enough time or patience, and it seems like -shockingly!- nothing ever fits me like it fits the models. In my ideal world, I would roll up to the pregame wearing my pajamas, have a never-ending supply of pizza, and would be hot and fun enough to cause the guy I was hanging out with to want to commit to being my boyfriend forever. But alas, life isn’t a fairy tale, so instead, I have to online shop for a dress like everyone else.

  1. Ugh. Formal is coming up. I need to get a dress.
  2. Should I buy something? I should probably wear a dress I already have.

  3. *checks bank account*
  4. Yeah, I should definitely wear a dress I already have.
  5. But my closet is so dark, and boring.
  6. I mean, don’t get me wrong, black on black is the most stylist look of any season, but it’s spring.
  7. But, like, all my dresses are like fall dresses.
  8. I mean, I’m not going to wear a faux velvet dress in April.
  9. It doesn’t matter if it’s sleeveless and short. It’s not a spring dress.
  10. I guess I have a couple of spring dresses, but they’re just not that cute anymore.
  11. I wonder if I should organize a clothing swap.
  12. I could invite Lindsey. Her closet is basically my Pinterest dream closet. I would take her cast-off, barely wore, two-year-old rejects in a heartbeat.
  13. Why am I looking at dresses again?
  14. Oh right, formal.
  15. Yeah, I’m just gonna buy something.
  16. I wonder if I can sneak this onto my mom’s credit card without her noticing.
  17. Oh well, even if she does, this is kind of necessary. Does she want her daughter to be known as the house outfit repeater? That almost ruined Lizzie McGuire.
  18. And if Lizzie McGuire struggles to bounce back from something, I’m done for.
  19. If I do put it on my mom’s card, I should probably go cheap, though.
  20. I have a free shipping coupon from Tobi that is going to expire soon, so I have to use it anyway. Honesly, not using it would be a waste of money.
  21. She should be proud that I am being so economical.
  22. What color should I get?
  23. If I get anything too bright, I’ll be forced to get a tan.
  24. But if I get something too dark, I’ll also need to get a tan so I don’t look like a ghost.
  25. Okay, so I’ll have to tan either way. It doesn’t matter.
  26. Is it tacky to match my dress to the sorority’s colors?
  27. It’s not my fault that I look so good in light blue.
  28. Whatever, I’m doing it.
  29. If I go long, I’m gonna be tripping all over the dress all night.
  30. Plus, I’ll be forced to wear my highest heels, and my date’s not that tall.
  31. I mean, he’s taller than me, but he’s only like, 5’10.
  32. So… short dress it is.
  33. I hope it doesn’t hit me at a weird length.
  34. Oh, this is cute.
  35. But it looks weird on the model, and if she can’t pull it, there is no way in hell I can.
  36. Can I wear a romper to formal?
  37. Jk, I’m not a toddler. And I pee literally hundreds of times a day.
  38. Can’t I just go in like, pajamas?
  39. I’ll wear my nicest, cutest ones! I’ll even wash them.
  40. Oh, here’s one! It’s so cute. And a little sexy.
  41. Am I aggressively sexy enough to pull that off?
  42. My boobs have been looking particularly full lately. Thank you, Pilates.
  43. Wait, is it slutty to show both cleavage and leg?
  44. What about side boob? It’s doesn’t really count unless you see nipple, right?
  45. Never mind. I def can’t pull that off.
  46. God, why is it so hard to find a dress?
  47. Forget it. I’ll just raid Lindsey’s closet.
Everything you want in a sister, sorority or biological - funny, hardworking, pretty but not in an super obvious way. Essentially, a funnier Elle Woods who is constantly having a bad hair day. Questions, concerns, videos of dogs and coupons for Thai food can be sent to totalsistermove@gmail.com

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