5 Tough Love Reasons Why You’re Still Single


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Nice Move


A lot of the time, being single sucks. You have to anxiously shrug when your relatives demand to know how a girl like you isn’t dating anyone, you are required to be excited for your friend when her boyfriend sends her flowers or asks her to dinner, and when formal season comes around you get to have a mini panic attack. Sure, you can blame your status on the fact that all guys suck or that you just haven’t found the right one, but maybe instead you should take a second to reevaluate your own dating habits or lifestyle choices. Maybe it’s not him — maybe it’s you.

1. Your Life Is A Little Shambly

Always being the life of the party is a huge commitment. A girl waking up with no right shoe and cuddling a bottle of tequila isn’t always the most endearing thing to most guys. Sometimes it’s hard to meet the gaze of the perfect guy when you’re too busy dancing on an elevated surface. College is maybe the only acceptable time to have a wine bag as your go-to accessory for parties or have your Sunday morning consist of strolling back to your room, shack shirt on and heels in hand. It’s hard for a guy to keep up with you. Hell, it’s hard for you to keep up with yourself.

2. You’re Still Not Over “Him”

We live in an age of hookups, the “talking phase,” and FWBs. That’s why when those things end, you can find yourself feeling even more confused than a breakup. There’s no closure, just questions. Or maybe your last relationship ended because of distance, cheating, growing apart, etc. Either one can leave you yearning for answers and with the weight of “what ifs.” You may want to deny any residual feelings, but relationship or not, it still had meaning to you. It’s hard to move on when you picture yourself with ‘him’ or still feel like you left things unfinished. Give it some time, and for the love of God, stop Facebook stalking him when you get drunk!

3. You’re Not The Relationship Type

Does the thought of cuddling induce nausea? When a guy sends you a cute text do you immediately flinch and change the subject? You, my friend, may just instinctively hate relationships, or at least the thought of you in one. You are the definition of a “smart, independent woman who don’t need no man.” You don’t need someone to listen to your day (that’s what your friends are for) or help you feel better about your problems (that’s what vodka is for). Maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship at this point in your life, maybe you’ll never want one. Either way, dogs make great companions and never beg for blowjobs!

4. You Go For The Wrong Guys

You single-handedly make the phrase “nice guys finish last” a reality. Yes, you are the girl who always chooses the wrong guy. FYI: a “cute text” from the guy you’re seeing is not a 2 a.m. “you up? (;” or a “send me a pic.” I have to admit, douchebags can be deceiving charming and can leave you wanting more. But kissing a fuckboy with not turn him into a prince. So sit down, and take a good hard look at the last guys you’ve talked to. If they displayed any of the following behaviors of not wanting to be seen with you in public, assuring you their exes were “crazy,” or begging for nudes, they are certifiable fuckboys. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places or maybe you just like what you can’t have. Either way, expect to be single as long as you keep being attracted to these guys.

5. Your Expectations Are Unrealistically High

Don’t get me wrong, I tear up as much as the next girl when Allie runs into Noah’s arms and passionately kisses him (we all know the scene). As amazing as that is, it’s not realistic to wait until Ryan Gosling comes along and sweeps you off your feet. Newsflash: your life is not a Nicholas Sparks movie. Whether you won’t settle for anything less than a perfect ten or the love of your life, you’re probably going to be alone for awhile. I’m not saying you should stop trying, just maybe understand that sometimes fairytales are make-believe and rom-com’s are unrealistic. As much as we would all love a Ryan Gosling or a Zac Efron in my life, eventually, we’re all going to have to settle.

Whether all of these apply to you or none just remember being in a relationship isn’t everything. Keep in mind, pizza and vodka will never leave you or make you paint them a cooler.

On an average day you can find me awkwardly asking to pet dogs, searching through frat houses to find my missing wallet, and sending apology texts to the innocent victims from the evening before. Still navigating my way through undergrad life, and enjoying every drunken and confusing second of it. email me at : drunkandconfused@gmail.com if you have any breaking news/funny stories or if you want to fill me in as to what I did last night...

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